Hey Little Girl, I Wanna Be Your Boyfriend
by Duppy Conqueror
Summary: My first attempt at this. Dan's there even thou it's set in or around season 7. I just miss the little guy. He got a tough break. E/C, R/V and maybe Price/Cooper. R/R
1. Chapter 1

Maxine Valera was supposed to be having a good time

Disclaimer: Clearly I own nothing related to CSI: Miami, because if I did I probably wouldn't be living with my parents. Title of story was taken from The Ramones song of the same name. Many Thanks to BulletStrong for her help. Hey, Ho, Lets Go….

Hey Little Girl, I Wanna Be Your Boyfriend

Maxine Valera was supposed to be having a good time. She was after all at a party. And this wasn't just any old party. Eric Delko and Calleigh Duquesne, two of her good friends and colleagues, had capped off seven years of sexual tension and unrequited love by getting married on the sly. They'd done it in typical Eric and Calleigh style, under the radar, just the two of them and a justice of the peace somewhere in the Keys. Valera had suspicions that their boss Horatio Caine, and former colleague Alexx Woods had attended as witnesses. But if they had, they weren't talking. Probably because Eric's mother was upset enough as it was that she'd not been there, no reason to fan the flames.

To further allay any hurt feelings Eric and Calleigh had organized a huge party on their return from the Keys, and invited all their friends and family to celebrate the union. Kind of a "Hey everyone we're married, don't hate us!" party. And for the most part it seemed to do the trick. Mrs. Delko, her anger forgotten, was currently tearing up the dance floor with Eric's dad. It was a great party, and really in Valera's opinion much classier than a traditional wedding. Everyone got to celebrate with Eric and Calliegh, but the couple weren't forced to parade themselves in front of the world, while swearing vows to a God neither of them were super close with. Instead, Eric and Calleigh were swaying serenely together on the dance floor, oblivious to the assembled company, or any change in the music's tempo.

So it was a great party. Everything about it was great. Calleigh and Eric were finally together. Everyone Valera knew was there. Which now that she thought on it was both good and bad. When had her life, and circle of friends, shrunk to encompass the Miami-Dade Police Department and the people in it? But still, the party was great. The club was great. The music was great. Her dress was great. The amount of alcohol she'd consumed was…great. But the night had become anti-climatic, at least for her. Everyone around her was dancing, drinking, cavorting, everyone but her. Instead, Valera sat alone at one of only two occupied tables. Even Horatio was dancing for Christ sakes, and with Natalia Boa Vista no less. There was a lot going on, but nothing she felt she could join in on. Calleigh and Eric were clearly busy. And she would lose her job if she made like Natalia and braved the dance floor with Horatio. There was no way Valera was watching the Big Red dance without laughing.

She scanned the room to see if anyone else offered the possibility for dancing or conversation, or even, at this point, body shots…anything to kill the boredom. Alexx was engaged in a conversation with her husband and the new M.E. Dr. Tara Price, while simultaneously managing her children. No hope there. Valera's eyes roamed to the dance floor, paused long enough to giggle at H and Natalia, and then continued on to Eric and Calleigh. Valera wasted several moments just watching them. They were so happy, and beautiful, and in love. She found the steadiness and assurance Eric and Calleigh gave each other comforting. They were like Valera's own personal Darcy and Elizabeth. She

had always enjoyed Pride and Prejudice, but never wanted to be Elizabeth Bennett. Valera just wanted to know love like that existed. Calleigh and Eric confirmed it for her.

Finally Valera deigned to glance at the one other occupied table. She already knew what she would find. Dan Cooper and Ryan Wolfe drinking a lot, alone, while making themselves laugh at whatever it is two guys find funny. It wasn't that Valera didn't like the men. She liked Dan immensely as a dorky, younger brother type. Ryan, well that was another story, he was sort of an X factor for her. When he'd first arrived at the lab, after Tim Speedle's death she had pitied him. No one was going to be able to replace Speed. Ever. The odds had been against Ryan from the beginning. Still, Valera had welcomed him the way she would any new colleague, and found him to be pleasant, and she would admit attractive. There had always been Eric to stare at during a long day of work, but any new eye candy was fine with Valera. Even if said eye candy had OCD and was not particularly suave.

In his first year Ryan had done his job, been nice enough, even a little heroic when she considered how he'd cared for that baby after the hospital shootings, and taken a nail to the eye in the name of duty. But then something had changed. Maybe it was the hard time he'd had fitting in. Maybe this had fueled his already obvious insecurities. Maybe it was his part in getting her temporarily fired from her job. Maybe he had always been a little egotistic. There were a lot of maybes. But all Valera knew was that whatever happened it had changed Ryan from being the slightly nerdy, cute boy at the office who wore sweater vests and cracked nervous jokes. He was still pleasant and respectful with her, but he wasn't open, or goofy, and she missed his floppy hair and sweater vests if she really thought about it. Between his increasingly sarcastic demeanor, the gambling and his new penchant for ties at work, Valera didn't know what to make of him anymore. He'd even been a television commentator for Christ sakes! How low could one go? Yes, she definitely missed the sweater vests.

Suddenly peals of laughter broke Valera's train of thought and pulled her back into the present. Oh yeah, I'm at a party. Valera looked over at Ryan and Dan's table to try and ascertain what was so funny, and if it was anything she could partake in. Ryan, from what she could observe was laughing so hard he was crying. This had two affects on Valera, first it peaked her interest, and second it made her yearn again for the boy in the sweater vest. She got to her feet as gracefully as she could after 6, or 7, or 8 cocktails, and made

her way to the table Dan and Ryan were sitting at. As she drew near she heard Ryan's voice, and it sounded incredulous.

"Dude! Did you seriously think that would work on a girl?!"

Dan was blushing furiously and mumbling about how some girls found it classy when a man could speak another language. Valera crashed down in a seat facing the two men.

"What's so funny? And what language can Dan speak? And who did he hit on?" She knew she sounded demanding, and probably a little deranged judging by the looks Ryan and Dan were giving her. She tried to work out whether they were pissed she'd interrupted them, or just surprised a woman was talking to them. She decided to go with the latter.

"Nice to see you too Valera. Isn't this a great party? Yes we're having a great time thanks for asking by the way. And aren't Calleigh and Eric just made for each other?" Ryan was as sarcastic as ever.

"Shove it Wolfe. Now Dan", Valera turned to the younger man who was still blushing and studying his beer with great interest. "What's all this about you hitting on a girl? And yes, girls do find it sexy when a man can speak another language." She directed the last comment at Ryan.

"Not when it's Klingon!" came his response. This momentarily threw Valera. What was Klingon? She searched her less than sober mind, and finally remembered what little she knew about Star Trek.

"Oh rrriiiight." She couldn't really think of anything more helpful and Dan's look of dejection deepened.

"How do you guys know a girl wouldn't find Klingon impressive?" Dan's question went unanswered as Valera and Ryan stared at him. "I mean you don't know every girl in the world, and Klingon is a very difficult, yet passionate language. Some girls might be impressed."

"Yeah maybe, some girls, but not the one you have in mind." Ryan punctuated his statement by nodding towards Tara, the new ME.

"Ooohhhh." Valera suddenly understood. She too turned towards where Tara was still conversing with Alexx. "Yeah……maybe….not…". She knew it was a lame finish, and Dan's face fell further.

"Screw you guys! What? You think I couldn't get a girl like Price?" Dan's eyes became thunderous. "You know what? I don't care what you two think! Or what anyone at work thinks of me any more! I know what you all say! Oh look there's Dan the computer nerd. Dan's so cute he reads comics and he's hopeless with girls!"

Dan's voice grew louder. "Well I'm not pathetic! And I know lots of girls that like comics and computers! Valera you love computers!" He had her there. "And I'm sorry you all are so jaded, but, but… whatever." Dan's anger, and the booze, was clearly affecting his ability to articulate and he gave up.

"Ooookaaay. Well, that's one way to see it," Ryan began. "But, I just want to point out that we are still talking about Klingon here. It's just reality man. I went to Hebrew school but I'm not gonna rock up on some girl and be like…Shalom baby! Wanna karar?"

"What does karar mean?" Valera asked.

"It means dance, well, to dance or whirl, probably in a religious procession. Whatever. Basically I was saying do you wanna dance." Ryan replied.

Valera looked at him, and then at Dan and realized that yes she did want to dance. She'd only come over here because she felt lonely in the middle of a party. She'd wanted to be dancing and having fun like everyone else. She wanted Dan and Ryan, yes, even Ryan, especially Ryan, to be dancing and having fun. After all, they were celebrating Eric and Calleigh's marriage. Those two had stopped denying themselves love and worrying about the what- ifs in life. And okay, so it had taken seven years, but if nothing else Valera figured that should teach everyone around them a lesson. Seize the day! Love like you've never been hurt! Dance like nobody is watching! Eight cocktails will make you think bumper stickers are words to live by! And maybe Dan was right. Maybe they were all too hard on him. What if Dan changed like Ryan had? That couldn't happen to her Dan. She had to make things right.

"Dan!" she turned towards him and jabbed a finger into his tie. "Dan! You are exactly right! And Ryan!" Valera swiveled her self around to face the now startled Ryan.

"Um, yes?"

"I would love to karar!" She smiled hugely at him, and once again felt a little afraid he thought she was crazy. "But first, we have to get Dan talking to Price. You know why Dan?"

Dan's reply was to shake his head uncertainly.

"Because you Dan are good enough! And you know what else? You kinda look like a young David Duchovny. There I said it. And I'm sure some girls like Klingon, because I loved the X-Files!". Valera let this revelation sink in. Dan broke into a huge grin while Ryan continued to stare at her like she was from another planet. Probably Qo'noS.

"And, and…" Valera reached back to her mid-nineties television viewing to continue. "And Price is a forensic pathologist just like Agent Scully! She's beautiful, and smart and if that's not Scully what is? You go be her Mulder Dan!"

"Alright Valera! You're the best!" Dan exclaimed while giving her such an enthusiastic high five Valera was sure the slapping sound could be heard for miles. Then he turned to get up, obviously planning on taking her advice.

"Wait! Dan wait!" Valera grabbed him by the tie. "Like I said you're good enough and all, but first there are some things you should know. Number one, go to the bar and get a glass of water, drink it. You do not want to seem super drunk. Two, after you've consumed the water go to the bathroom. Pee, wash your hands and take a breath mint from the complimentary basket thingy. Are you following me?"

Valera pulled even harder on Dan's tie so they were nearly nose- to- nose. He nodded meekly.

"Good." She continued. "Check yourself for lint, stains, anything embarrassing in the teeth. Then walk out and march right on over to Price and ask her if she's enjoying the party. No pick up lines, no jokes, just make normal conversation."

"And then what?" Dan asked trying to extricate his tie from Valera's grasp.

"And then nothing Dan. That's it. Let her lead things. Just put yourself on her map. No need to overshoot. If she's interested, she'll be interested on Monday when you're sober." With those final words of advice Valera relinquished Dan's tie.

Dan stood up and straightened his now rumpled tie. Then he turned back to his companions and gave them a military salute before heading off in search of water and the washroom.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I still live with my parents, and still own nothing

_**Disclaimer: **_I still live with my parents, and still own nothing. Chapter title comes from The Ramones song of the same name.

_**Author's Note: **_I'm watching this week's new episode (Raging Cannibal) of CSI: Miami while I type. Is anyone else thinking WTF…in regards to Eric's shirt? Neon coloured butterfly print? That's not the best shirt to bust out after your crush has discovered your feelings…I'm just saying.

Chapter 2

Baby I Love You

Valera watched carefully as Dan made his way to the bar and bathroom. She wanted to be sure he followed her instructions to the letter. Ryan was also observing Cooper closely. At least, as closely as he could, given the amount of drinking he'd participated in this evening. How much had it been? Ryan looked down at the table and tried to tally up his half of the empties standing at attention on the table he'd shared with Dan. Okay soldiers, roll call. But try as he might the math kept escaping Ryan, and all he could say for himself after staring at the bottles for several moments was that he'd drank half a table of beer. A small, formalish bar table, a classy table when he thought about it. But still…it was half a table, and perhaps he'd better pace himself from here on in. After all, if Dan actually made it with Price Ryan wanted to be able to remember this momentous occasion in the morning. Oh yeah, and Eric and Calleigh's wedding party, you know cause that's why he was wearing a suit in the first place.

"Here he comes, here he comes!" Valera pulled on Ryan's arm and pointed at Dan who had just exited the men's room.

Dan proceeded to cross the dance floor to a small corner of the bar where Tara Price, the object of his affections, was entertaining Alexx's kids. Valera and Ryan waited on baited breath as Dan introduced himself to Tara and the children.

"I wish we could hear what he's saying." Valera said, straining to get a good view of Cooper and Price.

"It may be less painful this way. If he does speak Klingon we won't be able to hear the Earth opening up to swallow him." Ryan replied, resisting the urge to push Valera's head out of his line of sight so he too could observe Cooper's moves.

"Ryan!" Valera turned to face him, an exasperated look on her face. "Just because it's Dan doesn't mean things are going to go wrong. I gave him fool- proof advice. Fool- proof!"

"I think you greatly underestimate what kind of fools most men are."

"Ryan, that is so not…" Valera couldn't finish admonishing him, because just as she'd begun Ryan had placed a hand on either side of her head. He then turned her to face Cooper and Price.

"Look!" Ryan didn't remove his hands from her head following this outburst. Instead, he pushed her even further forward in her seat. "Holy crap Valera! I think he's actually doing it. I think Dan Cooper's talking to a girl for longer than it takes to say, did you see Heroes last night?"

Valera wanted to say I told you so. She also wanted to slap Ryan's hands away because he was going to put her in traction soon if he didn't let go of her head. But she was just as caught up as Ryan in the moment. So they remained as they were, Ryan sitting behind her with both hands on her head, and Valera straining forward in her seat. To anyone who noticed them they looked like a particularly bad chiropractor and his unfortunate patient.

They watched in silence as Dan ingratiated himself to both Price, and the two children she was playing with. Dan had strolled over to where Price was bent over talking to Alexx's daughter, and placed a hand on Tara's lower back to indicate his presence. He'd then removed said hand, and held it out in introduction. Price had appeared neither scared nor angry at his intrusion. In fact, she'd just smiled, straightened her back and shook his hand. Dan had then crouched down and got reacquainted with Alexx's children.

"Amazing." Ryan whispered after observing the entire thing.

"See, I told you so!" Valera cried, while removing his hands from her head, and turning her chair so that her entire self was facing Ryan.

"Wait! What are you doing? I can't see!" Ryan tried to shift Valera, and her chair so that he could continue to watch, and marvel at Dan.

"Ryan no! Stop it!" Valera punctuated her words with shoves to his mid section. "We've done our part. Dan is talking to Price, mission accomplished. Well actually _I_ did everything. You just sat around making sarcastic remarks."

"What do you mean mission accomplished? And stop poking me in ribs!" Ryan continued to scuffle with her while trying to keep an eye on Cooper and Price.

"I'll stop poking you when you sit down! We've seen enough, we have to let Dan handle this. He's not gonna want Price to look over his shoulder, and see the peanut gallery snickering at her like school children."

"I wouldn't be snickering at her! Just Cooper."

"That's enough Ryan! Sit down!" Valera made a grab for Ryan's waist. If he wasn't going to act like an adult, and sit down calmly, she'd just have to hold him down herself.

Ryan stopped short, and looked down at Valera who was probably thinking it was her bossy manner causing him to freeze in place. When really he was paralyzed by the fact that if he wasn't mistaken, and a man usually isn't about these things, she'd just cupped him through his pants. He was sure it was a mistake on her part, she probably hadn't even noticed, but it made him acutely aware of her hands on his waist, and the fact they were inches apart. He prayed she didn't notice his body's reaction, because despite drinking half a table of beer it appeared his penis was still dead sober, and ready to answer the call of duty.

Ryan needn't have worried however, as Valera was too busy being embarrassed over her "slight of hand" to register his reaction. Being accused of molesting a colleague was the last thing she needed. There were already rumours around the lab that she was mad, and enjoyed porn. Valera didn't even know how these stories got started! She was fairly sure she was no more neurotic than the next woman, and she really couldn't remember ever going on record at work as a porno fan. Damn the internet, and its all pervasive powers! One person takes something you say out of context, posts it to the web and next thing you know you're kooky Valera the porn lover. If Ryan threw a fit over this, or even mentioned it to their work mates she'd be done for.

But Ryan had no plans to even acknowledge the alleged cuppage. Instead, he took a deep breath, and sat back down in his chair, releasing Valera's hands from his waist in the process.

"So um….yeah, you're right let's leave Dan to his own devices…and um…" Ryan looked around for any means to get their interaction back on the rails. Luckily, fate seemed to be on his side for once, and a waitress appeared at their table carrying a tray of champagne flutes filled with some of the best bubbly Miami had to offer.

"Drinks?" the attractive blonde asked, while offering a glass to Valera.

"Yes!" Ryan's reply sounded desperate and high pitched in his own ears, and he truly hoped it had come off much more casual to the women in front of him.

But again, he needn't have worried. Valera was to busy drowning her own mortification in champagne. She'd already finished two-thirds of her glass before Ryan had even spoken. Taking his cues from her, Ryan quickly followed suit.

"Right, Okay well I was going to say the bride and groom are about to make a toast," The waitress began, as she watched Ryan and Valera mainline the champagne she'd just offered them. "How about I just leave you guys a couple more for when things get underway?"

"Sure, yeah, great." Ryan said absently.

Valera said nothing, later she would swear the champagne had just appeared out of nowhere, so oblivious had she been to the waitress's presence. She was too busy staring at Ryan over the top of her glass, and trying to think of what to say next. She figured an apology might smooth things back over. But just as she opened her mouth to apologize Ryan stunned her into silence by beating her to the punch.

"I'm sorry." He said quickly.

Now Valera knew she'd had too much to drink. She was clearly hearing things. After all, she was pretty sure Ryan had just apologized to her, when she was the one who'd manhandled his private bits.

"What?" She searched his face quizzically. "What did you do? I'm the one that grabbed-

"You were right about Dan!" Ryan quickly cut her off before they had to relive the last few moments. "You were right, I should've left it alone after he managed to talk to Price without tripping over himself. And really to be fair, I should've given the guy more credit, instead of expecting him to trip over his own feet."

"Well… he did mention using Klingon as an opener. What were you supposed to think?" Valera knew this statement ran counter to everything she'd said when she'd been psyching Dan up. But she felt Ryan deserved some form of reassurance for taking the hit, and trying to smooth away the current awkwardness between them.

"No. No. You were right. I mean about the whole thing. Sure his initial methods were questionable, but not his intentions. He's a good guy, and he should have as much chance with Price as any dude."

After making this admission Ryan checked up on Cooper and Price again. From his vantage point over Valera's shoulder he could see them holding champagne glasses, still engaged in conversation.

"And just so you know," Ryan continued. "He's still chatting her up. But I promise not to blatantly stare at them, or point my finger no matter what happens."

"I'm sure whatever happens won't be worthy of finger points, and obvious staring anyways." Valera said smiling at him.

"Oh I don't know about that. I'm sure as cool as he seems on the outside this is huge deal for Dan. I know it would be for me." Ryan studied his champagne flute studiously while saying this. He'd gone out on an emotional limb with his last sentence. He didn't want to see Valera's face if it was judging him.

"Oh." was all Valera said. And when Ryan looked up at her she was the one to look away.

"I didn't realize you um, you had a crush on Price too." She added.

"Oh no…no!" Ryan realized Valera had taken his statement completely out of context. "I mean she's hot and all, but I'm not into her that way. I just mean if I was successfully hitting on pretty girl I'd be pretty pysched."

Valera felt two emotions after Ryan finished speaking. The first was relief, that he didn't have a crush on Price. Not that it mattered to her, it wasn't like she'd been jealous….much. It would just have been awkward all round if Dan got the girl his friend wanted. The second emotion was that familiar yearning for the return of Cute, Sweater Vest Ryan. She'd just seen shades of that Ryan in the man sitting before her. It made her want to be tender with his feelings.

"Oh please Ryan! This is Miami, you can't turn around without banging into a hot girl. You talk to them all the time. I've seen you." Once this was out of her mouth Valera realized it didn't sound tender, so much as it sounded dismissive, and just a little envious.

"What I mean to say is," she tried again. "Is… I know you can talk to attractive women, and I bet you could ask out any woman in here…well you know except for Calleigh, hitting on the bride may be poor form. But I'd bet you'd get a positive response from the single ladies."

"Oh you mean like Boa Vista?" he countered. "Cause that worked out great didn't it?"

"Ryan, those were extenuating circumstances. She still had unfinished business with Eric back then, and that's all water under the bridge."

"It still doesn't change the fact I probably wouldn't get much of a positive response from the women in this room." Ryan said.

"Look around you Valera," Ryan indicated to the room with his glass. "Just about everyone here knows me from work. Which means they know about me getting fired, the gambling, the gun range. Hell, most people probably still hold the Erica Sykes situation against me. Dan's not the only one who knows what everybody thinks of him."

Valera just stared at him sadly. She wanted to dispute everything he'd said, but she couldn't. Hadn't she spent most of the evening thinking he'd changed for the worst? Didn't she hope he'd be a little less full on every time he came into her lab in recent times? Suddenly she realized that by yearning for the boy he'd been she had diminished the man he'd become. She'd tried to pre-empt the same change in Dan tonight by boosting his confidence. Maybe a little kindness would reverse things in Ryan's case.

"I swear, sometimes going to work is like going to high school all over again." Ryan said frowning at his glass. "Just once I'd like to feel like I'm not just being tolerated until Speed comes back from the dead, or I don't know someone more qualified takes the job, or someone cooler can be Eric's right hand man….I don't know what everybody was banking on happening, but it wasn't me."

"Oh Ryan, come on now, it's not that bad." Valera said as she leant over and put a hand on his knee. "I don't think anyone is praying for your resignation from MDPD just so they don't have to hang out with you."

Ryan was about to open his mouth, and protest her lack of compassion, when Valera pre-empted any thought he had of arguing with her by removing her hand from his knee, and replacing it with her entire body.

Valera was a little worried. She'd hoped she'd done the right thing. If she was going to boost Ryan's confidence she might as well go all out. So she'd hopped into his lap and put her arms around his neck. He hadn't thrown her off, or insinuated she was crazy…yet. In fact, he was just sort of gaping at her like a fish…a cute fish, like maybe a bewildered guppy.

"Now Ryan," She began as she had with Dan, and reached for Ryan's tie to ensure his full attention. "You're going to take a break from this pity party and listen to me. Because actually buddy, we are not at a pity party, we are celebrating the union of two of our closest friends. Who hello! Value our friendship, even yours no matter what you think. Got it?"

"Kay." Ryan squeaked out his reply.

Valera continued to talk at him, while absent-mindedly caressing the back of his neck. Ryan knew that whatever Valera was going on about was probably important and meaningful, but he really couldn't concentrate. First, there was the accidental cupping, and now she was sitting in his lap. There's only so much one man can be expected to take in, especially when he's been drinking and there's a beautiful woman sitting in his lap. Now that Ryan thought on it, she was not just beautiful, but also smelled nice, not to mention how short her dress was. Or maybe the dress only seemed short because her legs where so long. Or maybe she knew her legs were great, really great, and had bought the dress especially for…

"Ryan!" Valera grabbed him by the jaw and forced him to look her in the eyes. "Are you listening to me?"

"Yes?"

"Well, as I was saying, you can't stake everything on other people's opinions of you." Valera was looking at him very seriously as she said this, so Ryan tried to school his features into a similar state of graveness.

"Right." He said, hoping he sounded like he'd been following the conversation.

"I mean look at me," she continued while releasing his face in order to indicate to herself.

Ryan needed no further encouragement. While he was pretty sure he couldn't hold his own in any conversational gymnastics at the moment, he knew he could leer the fuck out of this situation, so he did. Valera however, was oblivious to the way his eyes traveled over her body. Which amazed Ryan because he was sure if it was possible to eye fuck someone, he was doing it know. In fact, he was pretty sure if he'd been an impartial observer, and some random stranger was doing the same thing to Valera, Calleigh or Natalia he'd have laid the guy out by now. That thought made him more cautious and he quickly scanned the room for Eric or Horatio. Ryan did not want to be back- handed in the face with Horatio Caine's gun. So he raised his eyes back to Valera's face and tried to concentrate on her words.

"…people say all kinds of things about me at the lab. They say that I'm nuts, and that I like porn. Porn! I mean how would you like it if people thought you were a porn fiend?"

"You're not a porn fiend?" Ryan tried to hide his surprise and disappointment. But judging from the look Valera was giving him he'd not succeeded. So he stumbled on hoping to correct the situation. "I mean of course you're not a porn fiend Valera. Psssth! Who would think such a thing? I mean you as a porn fiend! That would just be crazy…crazy awesome."

"What?"

"Nothing."

"So anyways, as I was saying, if I worried about what people thought about me, I'd never come into work. And you know what else? When I was in high school boys didn't like me. I went to the prom with my friend's cousin, true story." Valera was passed caring about how such a confession reflected on her as a person. She just hoped that by sharing it she could encourage Ryan to see himself as less of an outcast.

"I don't believe you." Ryan stated. Clearly convincing him was going to be harder than Valera anticipated.

"No really. It's true. And don't get me wrong Wolfe, I'm not trying to feed you some sob story. I know I'm hot! I was even hotter then! Hell I was 16! My boobs were perkier, my skin brighter, my thighs thinner. Thirty cannot beat sixteen, it's the law of nature."

Ryan was glad he hadn't gone to Valera's high school. If she'd really been hotter then, as compared to now, he'd have never got any work done. He'd be pumping gas for a living wondering what ever became of the pretty girl, with huge eyes from his chemistry class. God, imagine if she came from some shit hole little town with a one room school, and they'd taken all their classes together. He'd be functionally illiterate, and not for any of the usual hillbilly reasons.

"Being hot didn't matter. My family was a bunch of weird hippies. Great people, they probably could've been millionaires if they'd invented some awesome ice cream with catchy names. But they didn't. And everyone in my town just thought of us as quaint hippies."

Ryan's response to this was a raised eyebrow. Her story seemed credible, but still, if there was one thing being a man had taught him it was that when it came to women there was a crazy/weird to hotness ratio. Generally, a girl could be absolutely bat-shit crazy, and some poor stooge would still make it with her, as long as she was a stunner. And Valera certainly was.

"I don't know Valera. Experience has shown that women only need to be about this hot," Ryan raised a hand over his head as if measuring children in front of a roller coaster. "To be weird and still get laid."

"Well that's just my point then!" Valera cried exasperatedly.

"What's your point? That you're hot enough to be a whacky bitch and still get laid?"

"No Ryan!" Jesus was she going to have to spell this out for him slowly and phonetically? What was her point anyways? How had they gone from devising a plan for Dan's sensual seduction of Price to bickering over whom was the most ostracized in high school, and the biggest weirdo at work? Valera racked her brains for a few moments before continuing.

"My point was, and still is, that you shouldn't have been so hard on Dan…or yourself." Valera peaked up from under her hair at Ryan. Did she dare continue on this train of thought? She had to. She still hadn't karar'ed damn it! "Everyone makes mistakes Ryan. I was let go for awhile too from the lab…and I'm not bringing that up to make you feel bad for whatever role you might have had in that. I'm just saying that we all make mistakes. And, and everyone has insecurities and failures in their life."

Ryan offered no counter argument. Nor did his face betray any emotion so she continued on.

"And, and as far as girls go or whatever, I don't think it's as hard as you suspect."

Now Ryan did have a questioning look on his face.

"I mean, it shouldn't be that hard for you or Dan to talk to a girl. You're both smart, have good jobs, jobs that PS, women find heroic. Sure, Dan doesn't carry a gun or anything like you, but you both put bad guys in jail. That's swoon-worthy."

"Swoon-worthy? Is that a word?" Ryan asked, teasing her.

"Shut up. I'm not done. Like I said you're smart, employed and you know…" Valera looked around to be sure no one was paying them any attention. Nope, everyone was still dancing or conversing. Here goes. "…you're, um, handsome…."

Her last words had been barely audible, but Ryan was nearly sure she'd said he was handsome. Did she say he was handsome? He knew he shouldn't push it, but he had to. And besides he'd been ogling her for the past half hour, surely she could return the compliment.

"You think I'm handsome?" he asked. Ryan tried, and failed to conceal the hint of manly pride in his voice.

"Okay, let's not go overboard here Wolfe. I think we both know, you know you're not hard on the eyes." Valera rolled her eyes while she said this, and employed his last name hoping to bring some levity back into the conversation.

"So you do think I'm handsome?"

Ryan was aware he was repeating himself. And he wasn't really sure why the issue was so important to him. Why couldn't he just accept a compliment and let it drop? Why did he feel the need to continue badgering the person till they changed their mind? He hoped Valera wasn't about to change hers. Not that it mattered. It wasn't like anything was going to happen between them. Was something happening now? No of course not, she was just being nice, like she had been to Dan. That she was sincere he had no doubt, but he was unsure whether this was all being said in the name of friendship, or more. He was also unsure how the possibility it was more made him feel.

"Sure. You, Dan, Me, Eric, Calleigh, Natalia, hey we are one good- looking forensics team. I bet we could all be on one of those cheesy forensic crime dramas." Valera replied trying to remain flippant.

She'd had good intentions, really she had. But she wasn't sure Ryan was going to accept her encouragement at face value. He seemed to be searching for some deeper confession from her on what it was that made her like him as a person. The fact he was even aware that she might have something deeper to confess was disconcerting enough.

"Oh yeah…we uh, we are one heck of a team." Ryan said somewhat dejectedly.

He didn't want to seem ungrateful for her all the nice things she'd said tonight. And really he was cool with her just wanting to do something nice for a friend. He could handle the fact that Valera thought of him as friend. A handsome, smart….friend. Talk about the story of his life.

Oh no, this was not going as Valera had anticipated. Ryan was clearly not as bolstered by her pep talk as Dan had been. She looked longingly at the dance floor. Jesus how had this happened? How had she come to be sitting in Ryan Wolfe's lap discussing very personal

things in the middle of a party? A party! Why was she not in the middle of the dance floor with a metaphorical lamp- shade on her head? That was her usual M.O. at staff parties. God knows her work mates expected it of her. She was crazy Valera, the porno loving, party animal. But of course that wasn't entirely true. And that was part of the reason she was sitting on Ryan's lap. She felt bad for him because she knew what it was like to be misunderstood, and as a small voice inside her kept reminding her, "you liiiiiiiike him". Oh God, there was no going back now, even if nothing came of her next admission, it would be worth it to make Ryan smile, because God help her, she did liiiiike him.

"Yes we are a good team. And what's more you are an integral part of this team." Valera began, trying to decide if eight cocktails and two glasses of champagne was enough liquid courage for what she had to say. Fuck it, there wasn't enough liquor in the world to make this sort of conversation less painful, but she had to go on. " I don't think I'd have near as good a time at work if you weren't there. In fact, I know I wouldn't because it felt like something was missing before you got reinstated. And what's more I think you are a good enough person, on a stand- alone basis, and a hot enough guy to get any girl you wanted…within reason. And. That. Is. What. I. Think."

Ryan's mind was boggled. He was 80 percent sure Valera might be hitting on him. The other 20 percent was reminding him that she'd said pretty much the same things to Dan. And Ryan was 100 percent sure Valera didn't want to give the Dan the impression she was interested. Another tiny part of him thought maybe, by some chance, she just liked him, like really liked him, but was still just trying to be a decent friend. That part was a dangerous part to listen to Ryan decided. After all, he and Valera had pretty much established during the course of this very strange conversation that they had life experiences in common, found one another attractive and were single. Okay, so he'd already suspected she was single, but he hadn't known for sure. Still, there was no denying that if they were two strangers who met at any other wedding they'd be making out in the coat check by now. Something had to happen to end this conversation or soon he'd make a big mistake, like kissing her, or asking her out, and they weren't strangers at a random wedding. They were friends who had to go back to work on Monday.

Valera wondered what was going through Ryan's mind. He'd remained silent after her little tirade, about basically how awesome he was. Clearly, he now thought she was some deranged stalker type, or a silly girl with a hopeless crush. She had to get off his lap and out of this conversation. Now. But how could she do it? There was no obvious reason for her to leap off his knee, and get as far away from him as possible. Unless of course she was embarrassed, or hadn't meant a word she'd said. She didn't want him to think either situation was the case. She didn't know what she wanted to happen, but she knew something had to happen.

And then it did……..TBC


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Second verse, same as the first

Disclaimer: Second verse, same as the first! I own nothing. Title and lyrics to Do You Wanna Dance belongs to the Ramones, as do the lyrics to I Wanna Be Your Boyfriend.

_**Author's Note: **_If you wanna dance along, check out the music at

/watch?vhLlkJwPOQzw

/watch?vwT5taxDKM5w

RIP Joey, Johnny, Dee Dee and Speed.

Chapter 3

Do Ya Wanna Dance?

And then it did. The music that had been pulsating around them stopped, and Eric's voice boomed out over the club. Ryan started in his seat, and nearly dislodged Valera from his lap. She took the opportunity to scurry back into her own seat opposite him, and they both turned towards Eric's voice.

"Hey everybody! Hey, Can me and Cal have your attention for a moment?"

Eric and Calleigh were standing in front of the DJ booth holding a mike each, and grinning at the crowd.

"I uh, I mean we both, want to thank everyone for coming out tonight." Eric said, smiling down at his wife.

"Now we know some of you weren't happy with the way we got married," Eric continued, "So we just want to say a few thank-you's."

Calleigh and Eric both raised their champagne glasses to the crowd and got ready to toast their family and friends. Eric went first.

"I just want to thank my parents first of all. I know you would've preferred a big, white wedding. But please know this Mamma and Papi…I know what real marriage is because I watched you guys my whole life. And it's way more than a ceremony. It's love and understanding for a lifetime. And you two taught me that. So hears to my parents!"

Eric raised his glass in his parents' direction, and the crowd responded in kind. Mrs. Delko, unable to control her emotions at such a display from her youngest, and only son rushed to where Eric was standing, and enveloped him in a huge hug. Understanding and polite laughter rippled through the crowd as Eric tried to simultaneously embrace his mother, and hand her off to his father.

Valera had tears in her eyes from Eric's toast, and she watched with blurry vision as Calleigh raised her microphone to speak.

"And I'd like to say a few words to my folks." Calleigh said, looking over to where the Duke and her mother were standing. "I know we haven't always seen eye to eye. But you've always supported my choices, and done the best job you were capable of."

Calleigh restrained herself from adding, "which wasn't much". She'd known Eric was going to toast his parents, and she couldn't leave hers out in cold without so much as an acknowledgement. Not after she'd gotten married without inviting them to the ceremony. She'd asked Eric what she was supposed to say, as she definitely could not hold her parents' marriage up as an example of happiness. His reply had been, just say what you feel babe, but keep it positive. So she had, and she'd included one little white lie.

"And what's more, were always there if I needed you. Thank you for that, and for being here tonight. To my parents!"

Calleigh mimicked Eric and raised her glass in toast to her parents. There was no rush of emotion from her mother however, but her Dad did hold his Jack and Coke aloft and bellow.

"We love you too honey girl!"

Calleigh blushed as the crowd seconded her father's outburst by raising their glasses and screaming "We love you too Cal!"

"Alright, alright, settle down people, we've got more to get through yet." Eric said jokingly.

"Me and Cal just want to thank some of the important people in our lives. The people we work with everyday. We do a rewarding, but dangerous job, and I think I speak for both of us when we say we couldn't keep doing it without the team we work with." Eric finished his statement, then made hand signals to the DJ.

"First," Eric continued, seeming to have finished his covert communication with the DJ. "We'd like to thank Horatio Caine, our boss, and the man who keeps us all safe no matter what the cost to himself."

A spotlight appeared over H's head as Eric spoke. Applause broke out for Horatio, and he waved at the crowd while characteristically staring at the floor.

"Next," Calliegh interjected. "We'd like to thank Alexx Woods. Alexx, you're a rare find. No one has more compassion than you, for both the living and the dead. You're always in our hearts."

Another spotlight appeared, this time over Alexx. She too waved at the crowd who was now toasting her enthusiastically. She then turned teary eyes towards Eric and Calleigh, and mouthed, "I love you both".

"And we can't forget our fellow CSI's. Where are you guys?" Eric asked peering out over the crowd.

"Oh there's one." He said pointing at Natalia, where she was half standing in Horatio's spotlight. "Natalia Boa-Vista folks! Beautiful, and hopefully someday soon, with the right amount of target practice, deadly."

Horatio moved out of his spotlight beckoning an embarrassed Natalia into it. She waved and smiled briefly, then in order to alleviate some of the nerves struck a Charlie's Angels pose, and aimed her finger gun at Eric. Once the chuckling had subsided Eric continued his scan of the room.

"Oh, oh, and here's my boy!" Eric pointed at Ryan.

Ryan turned around and looked over his shoulder. Had Tim Speedle actually managed it? Had he come back from the dead, and was now standing behind Ryan? But no, there was nobody there. And suddenly a huge light flooded Ryan's vision.

"Ryan Wolfe everybody! Man's man, ladies man, and my partner in solving crime and causing mischief!" Eric continued to point at Ryan, while the crowd clapped.

Ryan looked at Valera. His expression was one of pure surprise. Sure he and Eric had grown close, and yeah they did solve crimes together. And okay, they had both been known to party, when the occasion called for it. Eric had spent a good deal of time with Ryan and Cooper, taking them to clubs, trying to teach them a little of the Delko magic. He wouldn't have done that if he didn't care right? But were they really partners in mischief? Well, now that he thought on it Calleigh had been royally pissed when they'd broken one of her vases playing Wii. Then there were the pranks they played on the lab techs. And, there was that one time he and Eric had amused themselves at the beach by trying to move as many people's blankets, and junk around with out getting caught. It had been hysterical to watch people return to what they thought was their spot, only to be completely confused for several minutes. So yes, they were friends. Valera was right. He was valued.

Valera gave him the thumbs up and nodded towards Calleigh and Eric trying to impress upon Ryan the importance of him making some kind of response to the toast. Ryan's eyes widened in realization, and he turned back to the couple and the crowd giving them all a wave.

"And who's this Ryan's got with him?" Eric asked. "Maxine Valera! The number one DNA tech in town! We don't give the techies nearly as much credit as they're due. They're hard workers and great friends."

The spotlight on Ryan shifted slightly to encompass Valera as well, and she preened for the crowd, giving them a saucy smile and blowing kisses. For once she didn't care if they expected her to make a display of herself, so she did.

"Ah Valera, you kill me." Eric said laughingly. "Now speaking of techies, where's Coop?"

Eric looked around for his second favourite lab tech. Eric found Dan due to some enthusiastic arm waving on the part of Tara Price, the new M. E.

"He's right here!" she called, pointing at Dan where he stood next to her.

"Dan Cooper everybody! He fights crime, computer viruses and digital Martians!"

Dan accepted Eric's praise/jibe with a self- deprecating smile. As the crowd clapped for him Dan raised his hands for silence. Everyone looked at each other, wondering what he was going to do, but allowed him the silence to speak.

Dan took a deep breath. Valera had told him no over the top stunts, but he had a feeling what he was about to would be smooth, not scary.

"I'd just like to add one more toast folks. It's all good and proper to honour those we already know and love. But we can't forget the new comers. Especially since if there's one thing marriage does, is it unites two people, and well everyone they bring with them. So I'd just like to say welcome to Dr. Tara Price. Tara, welcome to MDPD, I know I speak for us all when I say, we're glad to have you." Dan finished his speech by raising his glass to Price, and hoping to God the crowd followed suit.

They did. And Tara blushed furiously, but was secretly thrilled. It was so hard to start a new job, especially one where everyone was already so close to each other. She'd been afraid Alexx Woods had left some impossible shoes to fill. But Alexx was clapping along with everyone else, and had winked at her when Dan began his toast. It was so sweet of him to think of her, given that it was his friends' day, and the smile she gave him in return was brighter than the spotlight they were both standing in.

Back at the table Dan had formerly occupied Ryan was aghast at the younger man's daring.

"Son of a bitch!" Ryan whispered looking at Valera. "I think Cooper just locked this one down. He's my hero."

Valera was about to reply when Calleigh began to speak again.

"Okay, I just have one last thing to do ya'll. I know this wasn't planned, and Eric's probably gonna hate me for singling him out," Calleigh turned towards her husband and gave him her best mega-watt smile.

"But I just want to say a few words of thanks to my husband."

The crowd clapped, and murmured "aaahhhhhs" were heard. Eric took Calleigh's hand and pulled her closer to him. He lowered his mike to waist height and leaned over to whisper in his wife's ear.

"Babe, what's going on? You never said we had to write stuff for each other." Eric looked a little panicked.

"Just follow my lead sweetheart." Calleigh whispered back.

Calleigh raised her microphone and looked deep into Eric's eyes.

"Eric. I want to thank you. Thank you for loving me, thank you for marrying me, and thank you for being the only person I trust unequivocally, and completely with my life. I know we'll be so happy."

Eric didn't know what to say. Sure, Calleigh had said similar, and even more sacred things when they'd took their vows, but he had to admit it was nice to hear her proclaim her love in front of everyone they knew. In fact, if he was the kind of man who cried, and he wasn't, he'd probably be crying right now. But he wasn't crying…the flood- lights were just really hard on the eyes. He realized the crowd, and Calleigh were probably expecting him to respond.

"Wow Cal." Eric tried to formulate his thoughts. Damn lights making him all flustered. "You know how much you mean to me. How much you've always meant to me, and I…"

Eric stopped and blinked furiously. He couldn't pretend it was the lights anymore. Not when his words had just been cut off by a choking/sobbing sound he was pretty sure came out of his own throat. He really wanted to finish his toast to Calleigh, so she didn't feel left out, but he couldn't get himself under control. He raised watery eyes to his wife's face and tried to begin again. But the only noise he made was another sob.

"Omigod Eric! You owe me shoes!" Calleigh's statement was bizarre, but she punctuated it by kissing Eric full on the mouth so he chose to ignore it.

Once the crowd had finished whooping it up in typical wedding fashion at a show of affection from the married couple Calleigh raised her mike to speak.

"He owes me shoes ya'll!" Calleigh pointed at Eric, and then kissed him again.

Suddenly Eric realized what had happened, and the rational behind his wife's impromptu "thank-you". The night before their wedding they had sat on the beach drinking champagne and wondering what the next day would bring. Calleigh had asked him if he thought he would cry. His initial response had been a manly snort of derision. Of course he wouldn't cry! Then she asked if he thought she would cry. Eric had responded that there was a better chance it'd be her tearing up than him. Calleigh had taken a slight offence to this, and it had led to a wager. If he broke down first during the ceremony he would have to buy her shoes, designer shoes. If she let the waterworks go first she would buy him new scuba gear. They had shook on it, and then gone back to enjoying their champagne.

The next day they had both been surprisingly calm. There was no pressure, no usual expectations for a wedding. They were just two people, in love, swearing to do the obvious, that they'd love, honour and cherish each other forever. Outside of Alexx, who as Valera guessed had indeed been there with Horatio, not a tear was produced. Calleigh and Eric had been too happy, and caught up in the moment to cry. Now however, it seemed Calleigh had been determined to win her bet.

"No. No. No." Eric recovered himself, raised his mike, and began to explain the situation to their bewildered guests. "Alright everyone, what happened was she bet me the night before the wedding that if one of us cried we had to get the other a present. If I cried, Calleigh got shoes. If she cried I got scuba gear. But the bet only covered the ceremony."

"Oh come on ya'll! What do you say? Does he owe me shoes?" Calleigh was grinning into her mike, and making encouraging hand gestures at the crowd.

Their assembled guests replied loudly in favour of Calleigh, and Eric relented.

"Alright, you get shoes. But only because I love you, not cause you pulled a fast one on me." Eric said, kissing the top of Calleigh's head. "And with that folks, we are nearly done, and will be returning you to the festivities in a moment."

"That's right," Calleigh agreed. "But first we want to take a minute to honour someone who couldn't be here tonight, but would've loved to see this day happen."

"Tim Speedle was a great man, a great cop, and great friend…" Calleigh tried to continue, but finally she did break down and cry.

Eric didn't try to claim scuba gear based on these tears. He knew the man they were for. He wrapped an arm around his wife and tried to finish what she started.

"We know a moment of silence is usually the way people go about this sort of thing. But Speed was never one for convention. And I think he would've preferred what we have in mind. Me and Calleigh want everyone on the dance floor for the next ten minutes! This one's for you Speed!" Eric finished, and motioned again to the DJ.

Seconds later, The Ramones, Speed's favourite band banged out of the club's sound system. And Joey Ramone asked the timeless question:

_**"Do ya wanna dance and hold my hand? Tell me baby I'm your lover man, Oh baby, do ya wanna dance?"**_

Eric and Calleigh hit the dance floor first, as they had known what was coming. Then, as they started bopping about in much the same way they'd always seen Speed do, they started indicating for the crowd to join them.

"Come on!" Eric yelled beckoning at the crowd.

_**"Well do you wanna dance under the moonlight? Squeeze me baby all through the night, Oh baby do you wanna dance?"**_

Eric picked Calleigh up and swung her about while she used her free arms to motion at their guests to join her. If anyone had been initially saddened by the mention of Speed, and then bewildered by the Eric and Calleigh's method of honouring him, they got over it quickly. The couple watched happily as Horatio, Natalia, Alexx and even their parents hit the floor, and formed a restrained, but enthusiastic mosh pit. Even Dan and Price were bopping up and down together with Alexx's kids between their legs. Pretty soon the entire guest list was dancing, save for two.

Valera and Ryan took in the scene in front of them. Valera was overjoyed. This was just what she'd wanted. Only one thing was missing.

"Ryan?" Valera asked without looking at him.

"Yeah?"

"I'll have that karar now." Valera replied standing up. She turned and held out her hand to him.

Ryan thought he must have died and gone to heaven. He couldn't think of a more perfect situation than this. The Ramones were playing, and when they were on he could get behind anything. The circumstances were made exponentially better by the fact he now felt secure in his position at work, and with his friends. But, the true cherry on the sundae was Valera. There she was, a beautiful, smart girl, with really great legs, standing in front of him, wanting him to dance with her.

"My pleasure, Ma'am." Ryan said, reaching for her hand.

Ryan pulled Valera onto the dance floor, and then wrapped both arms around her forcing her to jump up and down with him.

_**"Do you do you do you do you wanna dance Do you do you do you do you wanna dance? Do you do you do you do you wanna dance?"**_

_**"Do you do you do you do you wanna dance Do you do you do you do you wanna dance?Do you do you do you do you wanna dance? Oh baby, do you wanna dance?"**_

Valera smiled, and raised her arms above her head in abandon. This was the way things were supposed to be. The people she loved surrounded Valera, and they were all dancing and having fun. Wherever Tim was Valera was sure he was happy, and probably bopping along with them all.

Ryan looked down at Valera's face, and marveled at how genuine and open her smile was. He decided that he didn't mind if anything developed between them. And he also didn't mind being her friend if nothing did. She was just good people. That said, he'd have infinitely preferred if something did occur between them. He was contemplating just leaning over, and kissing her on that beautiful smile when something crashed into him from behind.

It was Eric. Eric grabbed Ryan around the waist, and extricated the smaller man from Valera's grasp. He then proceeded to envelop Ryan in what would've been a hug…if Eric was the kind of man who gave other dude's hugs, and he wasn't. Just like he hadn't really cried.

"What's up man?!" Eric shouted at Ryan. "Are you having a good time or what?"

Before Ryan could answer Eric threw an arm around his shoulder, and pulled him back towards the women. Calleigh had quickly wrapped her arms around Valera when Eric had pulled Ryan off of her. Now Natalia, Valera and Calleigh were bopping up and down with their arms around each other's shoulders. Eric shoved Ryan towards Calleigh, while he wrapped an arm around Natalia's shoulder in order to close their little circle.

Ryan supposed he should've been a little angry with Eric, for ruining what could've been a moment between him and Valera. But as he watched his friend's faces whirl in front of him he couldn't be bothered with anger.

_**"Well do you wanna dance under the moonlight? Squeeze me baby all through the night, Oh baby do you wanna dance?"**_

_**Do you do you do you do you wanna dance Do you do you do you do you wanna dance? Do you do you do you do you wanna dance?"**_

_**"Do you do you do you do you wanna dance Do you do you do you do you wanna dance?Do you do you do you do you wanna dance? Oh baby, do you wanna dance?"**_

And with one final chorus The Ramones came to a typically abrupt end. And the four CSI's and one lab tech let go of one another laughing and winded. Just as quickly as the last song had ended another began. Eric and Calleigh had asked the DJ to play a succession of Ramone's tunes to ensure Speed got his due. This one however, was a slow one, at least for The Ramones, and Eric pulled Calleigh towards him leaving their three friends to stand and watch.

_**"Hey, little girl I wanna be your boyfriend, Sweet little girl I wanna be your boyfriend  
Do you love me babe? What do you say? Do you love me babe? What can I say? Because I wanna be your boyfriend…"**_

Ryan turned to make conversation with Natalia and Valera. But when he did Natalia simply smiled a secret smile at him, and then spoke to Valera.

"Tell you what. I'm totally winded after that. I'm gonna get some more champagne. Why don't you guys dance?" Natalia said, and left them alone.

Ryan looked at Valera nervously. He'd had himself all pysched up to kiss her moments ago, but now he was frightened. Whirling about the dance floor with his closest friends had given him pause for thought. What if having something with Valera ruined their friendship?

"Want too?" Valera, oblivious to his ponderings was cocking her head towards the dance floor with that huge grin on her face again.

Fuck it, Ryan thought. She was worth it.

"Yeah, let's go." He replied.

As they stepped out on the dance floor Valera wrapped her arms around his neck, and Ryan's hands instinctively found her waist.

_**"Hey, little girl I wanna be your boyfriend, Sweet little girl I wanna be your boyfriend  
Uuu uuu uuu uuu-au  
Because I wanna be your boyfriend."**_

Valera pulled Ryan closer and proceeded to pull off a pretty sexy shimmy if she did say so herself. The song wasn't fast, but it wasn't slow either. And she decided to use this to her advantage by leaving his personal space to dance to the faster parts, and returning to wrap her arms around him when things slowed down. Judging by the look of yearning on Ryan's face every time she boogied away at a fast part, her dancing was definitely having the desired effect.

_**"Hey, little girl I wanna be your boyfriend, Sweet little girl I wanna be your boyfriend  
Do you love me babe? What do you say? Do you love me babe? What can I say? Because I wanna be your boyfriend…"**_

Ryan was getting frustrated. He knew chicks dug their dancing, and took it seriously, but he really wanted Valera to stop bopping away from him. Every time he managed to get a proper hold on her she was gone again. Finally as she came in for the finale of the song Ryan grabbed her around the waist. It was now or never. He wanted to be sure he didn't mess this up by smashing his mouth into her head, or shoulder, or even the floor.

"Hey Valera!" Ryan exclaimed.

"What?" She replied looking up at him with a confused look on her face. Why was he yelling at her?

"This!"

And, with that warning Ryan captured Valera's lips with his own. At first he was content to just to caress her mouth with his, but the time for being tentative was soon over when she bit softly on his lower lip, and the licked the pain away with her tongue. Ryan raised one hand to the back of Valera's head, and pulled gently to open her up further to his kiss. He could feel her smile against his mouth in response to this action, and soon they were making out like there was no one else in the room. Or at least like their boss, colleagues and Mrs. Delko weren't in the room.

_**"Hey, little girl I wanna be your boyfriend, Sweet little girl I wanna be your boyfriend  
Uuu uuu uuu uuu-au  
Because I wanna be your boyfriend."**_

_**"Hey, little girl I wanna be your boyfriend, Sweet little girl I wanna be your boyfriend  
Do you love me babe? What do you say? Do you love me babe? What can I say? Because I wanna be your boyfriend…"**_

Stay tuned for the conclusion….same bat time, same bat channel….


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I own nothing related to CSI: Miami, the chapter title comes from The Ramones song of the same name

Thanks to everyone who has reviewed: NYT, Julie172006, .34, EricDelko's3lilAngels! You're the few, and the proud. Well I thought this would be the last chapter but it's not…low traffic does not deter me. I'm having fun just writing this.

The Spanish convo between Eric and his mom is in italics to represent...spanish. Because I failed Spainish in uni...oh Mosiacos we failed each other really.

Chapter 4

She's A Sensation

"Wow."

"Yeah."

"But really it's not a wedding reception till someone acts the fool."

"True that."

Cooper and Price were standing on the edge of the dance floor watching Ryan and Valera make out for all they were worth. At least Dan was pretty sure they were making out, either that or Ryan had been replaced by one of the face- sucking alien's from Dr. Who.

"Have they been dating long?" Tara asked. "I don't know any of the office gossip, no one shares with the new girl."

"Uh, well, I guess it depends on how you look at it. It is possible that while I wasn't looking Valera and Wolfe were abducted into deepest space, and by traveling at the speed of light managed to date for an extended period of time, only to be returned to Earth at what seems like moments after their departure."

Dan watched Price's left eyebrow disappear into her hairline in response to his outlandish explanation.

"But no, as far as I know they haven't dated at all, let alone in hyper-space."

"You don't suppose Wolfe's been hiding a Tardis from you guys this whole time?" Tara asked jokingly.

Dan stopped short and stared at her. Did Dr. Tara Price just reference Dr. Who? The same Dr. Who that meant so much to him he was willing to pay for BBC America just to see it? He steadied himself, after all, she'd only mentioned the Tardis, and any amateur could do that.

"Well, I hope it works out better for Wolfe and Valera than it did for The Doctor and Rose." Price said with all seriousness. "I cried all the way through Bad Wolf Bay and Journeys End. I mean I know he left her with a duplicate of himself, but it's not the same you know?"

"Um yes, I do. But how do you know?" Dan stared at her skeptically. This could not be happening, Eric had told him time and again that pretty girls do not want to talk about Dr. Who in social situations.

"I'm not sure I follow." Price replied.

"How do you know about Dr. Who? I mean Dr. Who is for nerds…or so I've been told, not that you're a nerd…far from it actually. But what I mean to say is…I know about Dr. Who, and word on the street is I'm a nerd…I mean…"

Dan cursed himself silently. Here he was making an ass of himself again. He'd managed to be smooth the whole night, he'd been great, triumphant even compared to his usual M.O. And now this…had he called her a nerd? Had he called himself a nerd? Good God. He fought the urge to run away Napoleon Dynamite style.

"Don't be so common Cooper. Lots of people have lots of interests. Plus Dr. Who isn't just for nerds. It's a British institution. And I just happen to be American by way England, by way of Jamaica." Price said smiling at him.

"You're British?" Dan knew it wasn't the best follow up, but it was all he had, and he didn't really trust himself to speak too many words right now.

"Somewhat. My parents are from Jamaica, but my Dad's medical practice brought him to London." Price explained, while turning back to observe Ryan and Valera…yup they were still at it.

"We lived in Brixton, that's in South London, till I was twelve. We had lots of family there, but the neighbourhood got hard, so Dad moved us to New York. I came to Miami for med school, and here I am."

"Wow. That's a pretty cool history. I never would have guessed."

"Well it's all true. And as for Dr. Who…well I spent my childhood being raised on Lover's Rock, jerk chicken, beans on toast and British telly. I always liked The Doctor. Clearly, I followed in my Dad's footsteps, but The Doctor was the one who fascinated me as a child. I may not have a sonic screwdriver, but people call me Doctor now, and I'd like to think I help set things right in the world by aiding the justice process."

Dan was gob-smacked. And a little worried. He'd thought Price attractive before, on a superficial level, but he was in real trouble now of falling head over heels. He was thrilled enough over the fact that she'd accepted his initial advances, instead of running for the hills. When she'd continued their conversation willingly, and danced with him he'd been overjoyed. Now she was admitting to a love of Dr. Who. Cooper wasn't sure what to make of these developments. Either the world was about to implode on itself due to the creation of so many paradoxes (a pretty girl who would talk to him, a pretty girl who would talk to him and dance with him, a pretty girl who would talk to him, dance with him and liked Dr. Who). He had two choices, offer to buy her a drink and see where that went, or run through the club warning everyone of the imminent collapse of the space-time continuum.

"Um, you wanna get a drink? My treat?" Dan asked holding out his arm for her.

"Sure." Price replied, linking her arm with his as they started towards the bar.

XxXxx

The last fifteen minutes had been the best fifteen minutes Ryan had experienced in awhile. The DJ had clearly been moved by Calleigh's request to honour Speed, because once he'd run through all three of The Ramones tunes on his laptop, he'd spun them all again, twice. And while The Ramones had definitely recorded more than three great songs Ryan was grateful for what he got. It'd been a long time since he'd heard punk music in a club, especially in Miami. Usually the club was pounding with some terror inducing dance song by Justin Timberlake, or as Ryan liked to refer to him, "That douche-bag from Nsuck".

But truly, the DJ could have played the Chicken Dance, The Macarena or any other plethora of horrible songs that get spun at weddings and Ryan wouldn't have cared. In fact, the club itself could have gone up in flames and Ryan was pretty sure he'd have kept right on doing what he was doing. Making out with Maxine Valera. And if the throaty little moans coming from Valera were any indication she too would not have run if the fire alarm went off. They were both past the point of caring about what was going on around them. Or at least he thought they were, because Valera had just begun nibbling on his left earlobe, but just as suddenly as she'd started, she'd stopped.

"Ryan?" Her voice was a husky whisper in his ear. If his name sounded that good coming from her he anticipated a pretty sexy follow up.

"Mrs. Delko is staring at us."

Okay, maybe not so sexy. But Ryan was not to be deterred.

"Who cares? She doesn't even know who we are." Ryan replied nudging Valera's head to the right so he could return the favour and nibble on her ear for a bit, or kiss that long neck of hers…whichever came first.

"No really Ryan…let's just relax for a moment." Valera said, pushing him away slightly while keeping her eye on Eric's mother.

Ryan stopped and looked at her. Had he made a huge mistake in kissing her? He mentally kicked himself. Why couldn't he have waited till they left, or asked her to go for a walk, or something!? She'd told Dan to specifically avoid pulling something like this. What had she said? If she's interested tonight, she'll be interested on Monday when you're sober. What if he'd fucked it up so bad Valera would not be interested Monday, or any day thereafter? His dejection and confusion must have been written all over his face, because the next thing he knew Valera was cupping his chin with her hands and smiling at him in a reassuring manner.

"It's not that I'm not having fun. I just think we should maybe slow this down. Maybe save this sort of thing for private moments? Hmmm?" Valera used her most calming tone of voice to explain her reasoning to him.

Private moments? They were going to have private moments? Having private moments would mean that whatever happened here tonight was not some drunken one off. The thought of what they might get up to during these private moments made his body, especially his forgotten soldier overjoyed, and ready for action. His brain, and heart however, were in full on panic mode. His brain was quickly categorizing all the reasons why colleagues should not date, which Ryan found ironic given that he was celebrating Eric and Calleigh's marriage. If that wasn't fraternization he didn't know what was. His heart was simply reminding him of how he'd lost his first two wheel bike to the neighbour girl he'd had a crush on. She'd said she was only going to borrow it, and Ryan had never gotten to sit on its banana seat again. Despite this complicated inner monologue, his reply to Valera's suggestion was simple.

"Okay."

"Excellent." Valera beamed and kissed him quickly on the cheek.

"So these private moments you were…" Ryan's question was cut off by a sudden change in the volume and tempo of the music pulsating from the club's speakers.

He tried to begin again, as he'd been hoping to segue into asking Valera out, but it was to no avail.

"What!?" She cried. "I can't hear you!"

Suddenly Natalia and Calleigh appeared out of nowhere. Both of the women were eager to gain Valera's attention. They'd enjoyed the memoriam for Speed, but now they wanted to dance in that age- old way of females, in a circle with their purses and shoes thrown in the middle.

"Come on! It's my party! Let's dance!" Calleigh screamed. She'd obviously been into the champagne with Natalia, and was tugging on Valera's arm.

"No boys allowed Ryan!" Calleigh added force to her statement by pushing her two co-workers apart.

Valera wrestled closer to Ryan, and yelled into his ear.

"I know you hate this kind of music! And I really should spend some time with Cal! It is her party! You go save Eric from his mom!" Valera finished yelling, and turned Ryan slightly to face Eric who was clearly being given a talking to by his mother.

Ryan tried to process Valera's words. His abrupt separation from Valera's arms and lips was making him feel like he'd just awoken from a very good dream. Getting his bearings back was proving difficult. As Valera moved further away from him to occupy the middle of the dance floor with Natalia and Calleigh, Ryan's mind became clearer. The first thing he realized was he did indeed hate this music. Currently, The Timberdouche was blaring out of the club's sound system reminding everyone that he was bringing sexy back. Ryan agreed with Prince. He wasn't aware the sexy had gone anywhere, and if it had, Justin Timberlake was hardly the one the world should task with retrieving it. Oh yeah Eric, he had to save Eric, it was all coming back to him now. Ryan took one last look at Valera, and then retreated from the dance floor in order to aid his friend.

XxXxx

"It's no way to behave at a wedding Mijo! If this is a wedding, eh? I suppose when you get married without a priest, on a beach your "guests" can do whatever they want!" Mrs. Delko spat out the word guests making it sound like an insult.

She had thought herself past the anger she'd harboured over being left out of her only son's wedding. But it clearly still hurt, because she'd taken the sight of Ryan and Valera kissing as an excuse to lay into Eric the way she'd wanted to since he'd gone and eloped on a beach somewhere. Eloped! The mere word sent shivers down her spine. Eric had promised her this celebration would be "practically a wedding in and of itself Ma". First, a marriage not sanctioned by the church, now people were committing lewd acts at the reception, or whatever this debauchery was called!

"Ma! It's a party! And for all you know Valera and Ryan are married!" Eric tried to keep the exasperation out of his voice, and resisted the urge to roll his eyes knowing it would mean certain death.

"Are they married? Eh? Are they married?"

"They might be married! And if they were this would be a pointless conversation!"

"But are they married? You said you had a friend named Ryan, but you never said he was married!"

"How do you even remember this stuff? I might have mentioned Ryan once!"

At this point Mrs. Delko lost the ability to use English, along with her temper.

_"I remember because I'm your mother! It's my job to remember everything you say to me! To know everything about you! To be part of your life! To…to be part of your wedding." _Mrs. Delko finished with a sob.

Now Eric did roll his eyes….mentally, and cursed himself. He reached for his mother and wrapped his arms around her in a bear hug. Then he released her, and prepared his less than sober mind for a lengthy conversation in Spanish.

_"Momma. Momma, come on now. We discussed this remember? You say you remember everything I say. What did Cal and me tell you when we came to see you the day we got back? Huh?"_

_"That…that you both couldn't wait any longer, and that getting shot made you realize how short life is. And I understand your want to settle down Mijo, I do, and it made me so happy to hear you talk like that. But why couldn't Papi and I be there? We just wanted to be part of your happiness."_

Eric looked around cautiously for his wife. His wife who understood Spanish.

_"Momma, please believe me that if there had been a way for you to be there, you would have been there. But, Momma not everyone has the kind of family you and Papi gave me. Calleigh didn't want to have a huge wedding with family, because her family…" _Eric trailed off.

To tell his mother the truth was to betray Calleigh's confidence. He spotted her on the dance floor scuffling with Valera and Ryan…was she shoving Wolfe? Confident she was too far away to overhear him, and too engaged with whatever it was she and Natalia were up to, he started again.

_"Calleigh's family are not…well, let's just say she'd rather work a double on Christmas than go home to Louisiana. Sometimes her family is more trouble than anything else to her. If she'd told her parents in advance we would've been getting married in some over the top ceremony in the middle of the French Quarter of New Orleans, in a church full of strangers. She couldn't involve them Mama, but she couldn't be so cold as to have that big family wedding without them."_

Eric put his hands on his mother's shoulders and continued.

_"She knew it would be hard on me to not have you there. But, we decided no one but us, and the necessary witnesses was the best way to go. Horatio and Alexx stood in for us. I know you think it should've been you and Papi, but it wouldn't have been fair Mama. It would've made Calleigh feel like a monster on her wedding day. And there was no way I was letting that happen Mama. It had to be the happiest day of her life. I love her too much for anything less. So if you want to be mad, be mad. But I'd withstand anything for Calleigh, even your indignation."_

Eric was spent after his confession, and took a deep breath while bracing himself for his mother's reaction.

_"That poor girl! Oh Eric if I'd only known! You're such a good man, such a good husband!"_

Eric found himself enveloped in a teary embrace by his mother. Just when he thought his air supply was going to be cut off his father and Ryan approached the scene. Ryan ceded the floor to Eric's dad, and hung back to see how things played out.

"Perhaps, it is time to leave yes?" The traces of Russia were still obvious in Mr. Delko's voice. "I think your mother has had enough stimulation for one night."

"Oh Papi, come on don't leave over this. Me and Mama were just having a conversation right Mama?" Eric said, putting an arm around his mother.

"Yes, yes, just a conversation. All is well Papi. But your father's right Eric. Let's go Misha, and leave the young people to their party." Mrs. Delko removed herself from Eric's embrace and took her husband's arm.

Mr. Delko received his wife with one arm, and used the other to shake his son's hand.

"Come then Rosa. Congratulations son. We will speak with you tomorrow yes?"

"Yeah. Till tomorrow then Papi. Thanks for coming, I love you both."

Eric turned to watch his parents leave. They paused long enough to say good- bye to a still dancing Calleigh. Mrs. Delko pulled her into a particularly tight hug before leaving the club.

xxXxx

Meanwhile, Ryan approached Eric cautiously and placed a hand on his shoulder. He had caught the tail end of the English portion of Eric's "conversation" with his mother. Ryan felt rotten that Eric had gotten called out for his and Valera's display.

"Uh, hey man." Ryan began while pulling his nervous move…arms folded, then unfolded so he could rub the back of his neck. "I'm sorry if I got you in trouble with your mom. And don't be mad at Valera, she tried to stop me."

Eric simply stared at Ryan for several seconds.

"Look, I said I was sorry Delko. You could at least say something. I know I messed up, I shouldn't have drank so much, or made out with Valera. Jesus I made out with Valera!" Ryan's apology became rambling, and his neck rubbing increased.

"Wolfe are you out of your mind!?"

"I know! Okay I know! Making out with Valera, or anyone for that matter, at what practically amounts to a work function is poor taste. And I'm sorry your mom saw us!"

"Wolfe you jackass! Calling my wedding party a work function is what's in poor taste! And so is apologizing for what just happened out there!"

Oh crap. He had just likened Eric and Calleigh's wedding party to a staff Christmas party hadn't he? But wait? What was the second thing Eric had said?

"You mean you're more upset I called your wedding party, or your- sorry- we- never- had- a- wedding-wedding party, or whatever this is, a work function then you are I made out with one of our good mutual friends…while your mom watched?" Ryan asked trying to gauge Eric's state of mind.

"Fuck it Wolfe! My mom has me for a son! She's seen worse. She's just still a little upset about the way Cal and me got married that's all. So yeah calling the celebration of that union a work function is worse. And what's worse still is how you're pussying out right now." Eric's words were harsh but there was a joking smile on his face.

"Um I'm still not sure I follow." Ryan said.

"Really Ryan! You're the only man I know who could finish sucking face with a seriously hot woman, and then wet his panties in fear over it." Eric exclaimed, his smile getting even larger.

"You mean you're not mad I made out with Valera?" Ryan knew he sounded like a slow child, but Eric's behaviour was too confusing after the night's events.

"No Ryan I am not. But I am starting to get mad at what a little girl you're being over it. How do you think Valera would feel if she could hear you now?" Eric asked, checking to make sure Valera was still dancing with Calleigh.

"I'm not…I mean…" Ryan tried to explain his feelings about the Valera situation. "I'm not sorry I made out with a hot girl, or that Valera is that girl. I'm just worried man. We've both been drinking. Weddings always make women all touchy feely…and what if we both…if she regrets this in the morning?"

Eric tried to control his grin so Ryan would know he was taking his questions seriously, but it was hard not to smile at this predicament.

"Ok Wolfe, first off we've been over this before…not every woman only wants you for your two wheeler. Plus I've seen Valera's bike, she rides it to work, it's definitely got at least ten speeds, she doesn't need your Huffy."

Eric tried to continue but Ryan cut him off.

"Very funny Delko. I'm glad I shared that painful childhood moment with you. But do you have any advice about this situation at all, or do you just want to mock me some more?"

"If you'd let me finish…okay, second of all, yeah this could be difficult. Dating co-workers isn't easy. Look at what happened with me and Natalia. Hell, look at me and Calleigh…it didn't take us seven years because this shit is easy!"

"But me and Valera aren't even dating Delko! So far we've just drunkenly kissed on a dance floor. Maybe that was dating in college, but I don't think it constitutes a date at thirty!"

Eric put his arm around Ryan's shoulder, and turned him to where Calleigh, Valera and Natalia were dancing. The DJ had ended the torture known as Justin Timberlake, and was now playing some Madonna. Calleigh and the girls were vogue-ing rather enthusiastically. Eric forgot his point momentarily as he and Ryan watched with bemusement as his wife tried to execute some of Madonna's more advanced moves. Ryan felt marginally better watching the display in front of him…clearly he would not be remembered as the only person who had committed embarrassing, and border line lewd acts on the dance floor that night.

"Wow. Calleigh's pretty flexible." Ryan commented.

"Yeah, it's great." Eric replied. "I mean…pay attention Wolfe. I was trying to point something out to you."

"What? That when your wife gets drunk she thinks she's a show girl?"

The words were out before Ryan had even realized he said it. Eric's expression was one of controlled anger.

"I'm gonna let you off with that one Wolfe, because you've been drinking. And, because I clearly cannot deny it." Eric said, while watching his wife whip her head around in what he was sure she thought was quite a seductive manner.

"But let's get back to the point. Valera." Eric said, while turning his attention to the tall brunette, who was cutting quite the sexy rug herself. "What are your intentions in this situation?"

"Well…she's very…nice."

Ryan struggled to find the right words to express himself.

"And, and I think that if we didn't work together my answer would be easy. My intention would be to ask her out, and hope against all odds she didn't shut me down. But we do work together, and that complicates things. Also, ideally I like for both myself and the woman I'm asking out to be sober when it all goes down."

"Look man, no matter who the girl is, or what she does it's never gonna be easy. Now what you have to ask yourself is, do you want this bad enough to deal with whatever complications arise?"

Ryan took a deep breath and continued watching Valera dance. He had asked himself the same question earlier before he kissed her. She was worth it right? They were potentially worth it. It wasn't a question of intentions, or worth…he knew what he wanted. He just couldn't get the sight of Miriam Vogel riding away on his bike out of his mind, or the faces of the countless other girls who had called him "a great friend", or told him "it's not you, it's me". What if Valera decided she'd made a huge mistake with him tonight?

"I think it's worth giving whatever it is between me and Valera a try, I just don't know if she will." Ryan admitted.

"Okay, well what exactly happened between you two?" Eric asked.

Ryan quickly explained the night's events to Eric, starting with Valera's pep talk with Dan.

"Klingon!?" Eric asked while laughing so hard he had tears in his eyes.

"Yeah that's not exactly the point Delko. Can we move on?"

"Okay, Okay, so you and Valera, well mostly Valera, talked Dan into hitting on Price. Which, by the way, makes that whole awkward toast of his make more sense. Then what?"

Ryan continued to describe his night to Delko, from the moment Valera sat on his knee, to the moment she'd sent him off the dance floor in search of Eric.

"So she told you to find her later?" Eric asked.

"Yeah."

"That can't be a bad sign man. She didn't suddenly come to her senses and slap you or anything."

"What if that's what she wants me to find her for later?"

Eric pondered the situation and facts the way he would when working on a case. After weighing things in his head for a few moments he spoke.

"Listen Wolfe, all I can say is I've never known Valera to be a mean person. And, while some of the things you've told me have shed new light on her character, and I'm deeply disappointed to learn that the whole porn thing is myth…I don't think she'd lead you on."

"Right, okay, so now what?" Ryan asked.

"Now you wait. She's clearly rehashing this right now with Calleigh and Natalia just like we are."

"What!? They've been on a dance floor for the last thirty minutes! It's too loud out there to talk amongst yourselves!" Ryan exclaimed, while eyeing the three women more closely.

"Not even man. Women are experts at covert communication, whether they're at the bar, on the dance floor, or across a crowded room." Eric said.

Sure enough when Ryan looked closer he saw it. Every now and again Valera would cup her hands over Calleigh or Natalia's ear and say something. Then the recipient of her message would turn to the other and repeat the action. From their body language the conversation appeared casual, and jovial even. They were just three women on a dance floor making observations about their surroundings. It was only the occasional eye widening coupled with subtle glances in Ryan's direction that were giving them away.

"Son of a bitch!" Ryan cried. Even now they were probably discussing everything from what he really meant when he said whatever he had said, to how good or bad a kisser he was.

"Easy soldier." Eric laid a hand on his arm to prevent Ryan from marching onto the dance floor. "This is the way of things. All we can do now is wait for them to finish their girly summit, and then see what Valera has to say."

"Oh Jesus!" The last time Ryan had felt this weary of a decision based on his merit was when he'd applied to grad school…and before he'd been reinstated.

"Relax man, we'll go to the bar. Get a drink, and chill out." Eric said.

"Too much beer is what got me into this predicament." Ryan replied.

"Well then my advice would be to drink more beer till you have a solution."

"Yeah that doesn't really make sense Delko."

Eric looked down at him and then nodded his head in the direction of the dance floor. Ryan followed Eric's gaze. Valera was still whispering away in Calleigh's ear between dance moves. Delko was right, there was no way he could survive this trial by disco of his worth as a man without beer.

"Lead the way." Ryan said turning away from the dance floor.

"That's my boy! Come on, I've gotta make up for lost time. My parents are finally gone, now I can party." Eric said, grinning hugely in anticipation as he led Ryan towards the bar.

Does beer really offer a solution? How much does Calleigh love eighties music? Where has Tripp been this whole story? Find out next time…..TBC.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Author's Note: This is getting out of Hand! I really thought this would be the last chapter. Thanks to all the reviewers, and the people still reading. You are still the few and the proud!

I Wanna Be Sedated

Ryan followed Eric to the bar. He was still unsure about the logic of Eric's plan, but Ryan figured his friend deserved to have a good time at his own party. After all, it wasn't like Ryan himself had to continue drinking right? He could simply stand by, and watch as Delko played catch up with the rest of the party. But then again, Ryan was also acutely aware that he was being weighed up by the women folk in his life at this very moment. Could he deal with the judgment they would met out while drunk if he himself was not also sufficiently hammered? To drink or not to drink, that was the question. Except, technically he'd already been drinking, in fact Ryan was fairly sure he qualified as inebriated at this point. You didn't just make out with a colleague in front of your best friend's mother…at your best friend's sort of wedding if you weren't somewhat drunk. Well, maybe some people did, but Ryan sure didn't. However, he couldn't blame his actions entirely on alcohol could he? This was trickier than the case building meetings Ryan was forced to attend whenever the DA was about to take one his cases to trial.

_Did you or did you not want to kiss Maxine Valera before this evening Mr. Wolfe?_

Ryan's brain began to sound increasingly like the scary lady DA he usually hid from when she came around to piss off Horatio.

_Um, yes?_

_Yes what Mr. Wolfe? Yes you wanted to kiss her, or yes you did not want to kiss her before tonight?_

_Yes, I wanted to kiss her before tonight…Ma'am._

_So then Mr. Wolfe we can assume alcohol was not the deciding factor?_

_N-n-no?_

_What was that Mr. Wolfe? Could you repeat that in an intelligent manner or are you going to monosyllabically st-st-stutter on the stand?_

God he hated that woman, she was just like his eighth grade Math teacher Mr. Epstein, who looked for any chance at all to humiliate Ryan despite his high test scores. Even more cruelly, the DA did it while in possession of a vagina, and 6 inch stiletto heels. During most of her preparatory sessions before a case went to trial Ryan often expected her to tell him that they would lose not only due to his shoddy case work, and inability to articulate while on the stand, but also because, "You touch yourself at night Mr. Wolfe".

_I said no… alcohol was not a factor! And one more thing you demented she-bitch it's not my fault your ovaries are drying up faster than the arable land in Africa, while every man you date gets scared off by your undeniable need to try every underage member of a minority group that we arrest as an adult! You're just jealous! You wish someone would show you the kinda time I just gave Valera out on that dance floor!_

"Ryan? You ok man?"

Eric was staring at him questioningly while trying to place an order at the bar.

"Oh yeah, nothing, I was just you know, thinking about this whole making out with Valera thing." Ryan quickly returned to reality leaving the imaginary version of the DA and his self forever locked in a near kiss/fist fight.

"Best not to think too much about it man." Eric replied. "In fact let's do what we can to kill off all your thoughts."

Eric punctuated the last statement by handing Ryan a pint glass full of beer.

"Sir I challenge you to a boat race!" Eric said while holding his glass aloft, and frowning at Ryan meaningfully.

"Oh a boat race Delko? I don't know man…this is your sort of wedding. Shouldn't we keep it a little bit classier than that?"

"Says the man who just put his hand up Valera's skirt in front of my mom," Eric dead-panned.

"I did not!" Ryan screamed.

"Relax Wolfe, I'm just joking, but you're right we can't do this now." Eric said looking around his vicinity.

"I'm glad you said that, cause honestly, man I…"

"We need to find Cooper first. He has to be in on this!" Eric said, cutting off Ryan's words of relief.

"What? No. That's not why we can't chug beer at your wedding, sort of wedding, whatever the hell this is."

Eric however, was not listening to Ryan's attempt to explain etiquette to him. Instead, He was searching eagerly for Dan Cooper. Eric found him not ten feet away from where he and Ryan were standing. Cooper was still at the other end of the bar with Tara enjoying the conversation he'd managed to make after buying her a drink. Eric turned his back on Ryan momentarily to bellow at Cooper.

"Cooper! Cooper! Over here man!"

Dan turned around and saw Eric, who was clearly yelling and motioning at him to come over. Dan was loath to leave Tara's company, but he also wanted to hang out with Eric on this joyous occasion. Plus, Cooper figured the occasion was about to get a whole lot more joyous now that Eric's mother had left the building.

"Wanna go say hi to Eric?" Dan asked.

"I don't think we have much choice." Tara said laughingly, she watched as Eric nearly strained himself with effort over Dan's shoulder.

Dan laughed and took Tara's arm to lead her over to where his two friends were standing. He and Tara spent the first few moments hugging Eric, and offering their congratulations.

"Hey man. It's nice to get a few moments with you. No worries though, you and Cal should spend as much time together, and with your families tonight as you want." Dan said after releasing Eric.

"Yeah sure, whatever Cooper, I've been, I've done, now lets get drunk." Eric replied.

"Uh, ok. But I think you may be the only person who isn't some what drunk right now. Well, you and Horatio." Dan joked.

"Yeah and I'm getting more and more aware of that fact with every passing second Cooper. So what do you say to a Saturday Night Special huh? Just us guys in a boat race," Eric said while handing Cooper a pint glass of his own.

"Really? Alright man! I'm up for if you are. I mean it's your party." Dan said accepting the glass from Eric.

"Whoa, whoa…Dan! Ladies are present." Ryan said while waggling his eyebrows in a grave manner towards Price.

Ryan was hoping to God, and whatever other deities where listening, that Dan would join him in the mutiny against this act of male grandeur.

"Oh yeeeaah. Um, I don't know Eric. I mean what would Calleigh think?" Dan hesitated, and made to return the glass of beer to Eric.

"You tell me," Eric said while indicating to his wife who was currently dancing with great vigour, and little sobriety, as Bruce Springsteen reminded the crowd that we are all in fact, just dancing in the dark.

"God I hate The Boss." Eric said randomly as he and Cooper observed Calleigh. "You know he's the only man she said she'd ever leave me for?"

"Man Cal sure does love her eighties tunes." Ryan offered.

"Yup. It's one of those little things that make marriage so fun…and annoying." Eric replied. "But yeah I think we can safely say my wife is having fun tonight, even if I can't stand the fact Bruce Springsteen is being played at my wedding-er-sort of wedding party."

"So boat race it is!" Dan said, now he was holding his glass aloft.

"Uh, I might sit this one out guys…" Ryan said sheepishly.

"What?!"

"Wolfe would you quit being such a pussey!"

Dan and Eric's protests were expected. But Ryan was determined to stand his ground.

"No, look, I don't think I should drink anymore. Cause you know…" Ryan trailed off and nodded his head towards were Valera was still dancing with Calleigh and Natalia.

"I get it now! Wolfe you dog….no I get it. You want to be sure stuff's still in working order later. Ok, that's cool. Remind me to pace myself for the same reason, cause I get a second honeymoon tonight!" Eric said.

"What? No, that's not it. And really-ladies present!" This time Ryan threw both arms towards Price as if to announce her presence to his friends.

"Psssth. Get over it Ryan. I'm not made of glass. Here give me that." Price said while giving him a withering look, and reaching for his pint glass.

Ryan watched gob smacked as Price took his glass of beer from him, and proceeded to cleanly chug the entire pint.

"I think gentlemen, that, I just won whatever game it is we're playing." Tara said smugly, and handed the empty glass back to Ryan.

"How did you…"

"That was awesome!"

Tara cut off Dan and Eric's admiring remarks.

"Med school boys, med school. That's where they really party hard. We give Engineering students a run for their money!" Tara said, turning to observe Calleigh and company on the dance floor. "You know what? I think I'm gonna have me a little dance now, Springsteen's not bad for a white boy. I'll find you later Cooper."

Ryan, Dan and Eric watched in silent amazement as Tara strutted onto the dance floor, and casually joined the festivities despite her outsider status. Ryan was the first to shake off his paralysis.

"Wow. The only way that could've been more awesome was if Price had just thrown the glass at the wall after she finished chugging."

Dan and Eric merely nodded their agreement while staring at their own still full pint glasses. Suddenly, their own boat race seemed rather underwhelming.

"I guess there's really no point in chugging this now." Dan said, indicating to his drink.

"Nope, we probably can't top that." Eric agreed.

"Well, cheers all the same man." Dan said, clinking his glass against Eric's, and taking a swig.

"Cheers Coop."

The three men lapsed into the kind of silence men do at bars, and began to survey the room.

"How long do you have to be married before you stop checking out every girl in the bar, and weighing your chances?" Eric asked idly while doing double takes of every woman he could see.

"I don't know dude. But if you were to blindfold me I could tell you where each one is standing, and what she's wearing." Ryan replied.

"Is that all? I could tell you where they're standing, what they're wearing and what they're drinking. And, that most of them would probably just back away slowly if I approached them." Dan said.

"Yeah," Ryan agreed. "I know what you mean."

"Yeah," Eric added. "I don't."

"Right, so you're saying there's never been a woman you weren't sure of your chances with?" Ryan asked, giving Eric his best I'm-being-probing-eyebrow raise.

"Weeeell," Eric hesitated before continuing, "Just the one."

"Yeah? Who?" Dan asked a little disbelievingly. This was Eric Delko after all.

"Calleigh." Eric said, mumbling into his glass. "Calleigh saw the notes my shrink wrote about me when we were investigating her murder. She literally read the words, when I think about settling down I want it to be Calleigh. And, she said nothing to me for like weeks after that about it. Just…nothing. She knew, I knew. And nothing…it was humiliating, and heart wrenching at the same time."

"Wow. And she knew you knew she knew? OK now I'm confused. But still, that's brutal man." Ryan offered his somewhat garbled sympathy.

"Yeah, how did you get out of bed everyday and come to work?" Dan asked. "I mean you practically went up to the girl of your dreams and went I like you, like really like you, and she just said nothing. Wow."

"Ok you two let's not make this into a John Hughes movie. I'm just saying, yes, even I have felt the pain of rejection." Eric said jokingly.

"Yeah, but it wasn't that bad, I mean Calleigh married you like five seconds later." Ryan pointed out.

"Yes, yes she did. Cause my woman's awesome like that." Eric said, looking for his wife on the dance floor.

He found her still in the thick of things, still grooving to The Boss as he sang about Glory Days. Only this time it wasn't Natalia and Valera she was dancing with. It was Detective Frank Tripp, newly arrived from the night shift. Two thirds of the MDPD might have been taking the night off to toast Calleigh and Eric, but the criminals sure weren't. That meant someone had to stay behind to man the stations, and Tripp had been assigned night duty with Homicide despite his best intentions to attend Calleigh and Eric's "Sort of Wedding Party". Tripp considered his sacrifice a noble gesture, but as soon as he realized the night was a bust murder wise he left two of his best rookies in charge so he could stop by the festivities. Clubs, especially Miami clubs were not Frank Tripp's _thing_, but he was willing to brave it for Calleigh and Eric. So, imagine his delight to find that not only was his favourite girl on the dance floor when he arrived, but she was dancing to Bruce Springsteen. Springsteen might be a Northerner, but Rock and Roll was Rock and Roll as far as Tripp was concerned. Anything by The Boss was better than that hip hop hooey they played in all the clubs in Miami. So, Frank had hit the dance floor, scooped Calleigh up, spun her once, and then attempted to dance despite the cop voice in his head which kept saying, "Boy, are you crazy?"

"Wow, Tripp is turning red out there." Ryan observed.

"Yeah, it's a good thing everyone in the room has first aid." Eric said laughing.

"What kind of dancing is that anyways?" Dan asked.

"I think that would be called the elderly white man's burden." Ryan stated. "If we watch closely we'll actually see the moment his heart gives out."

The three younger men continued to joke about Tripp's dancing until the song ended. Then, Tripp left the dance floor and began to approach his mockers. Eric, Ryan and Dan panicked momentarily wondering if Tripp's sixth cop sense had somehow tipped him of to the fact they were making fun of him. But, all three relaxed when they saw the large grin on Frank's face as he made his way towards Eric.

"Congratulations Sir." Tripp said, holding out his hand to Eric.

"Thanks Frank, it means a lot that you could get here." Eric replied, shaking the proffered hand.

"Well believe it or not Miami's worst seem to be taking it easy tonight. So, I left Rodriguez and Swank in charge for a bit. With any kind of luck something major will go down, and they'll wet their rookie pants." Frank said.

The group exchanged mirthful glances at this, and each was glad they did not have to work that night. Ryan in particular was happy he was not Rodriguez or Swank, he remembered Patrol, and the first little while was one constant hazing after another. Feeling a certain camaraderie with Swank and Rodriguez, Ryan decided to throw a punch for the new guys.

"So, uh, Tripp, that was uh, quite the dancing out there. How you feeling buddy? We're not gonna need to perform CPR tonight are we? Your left arm tingling? Because, if not there's definitely a Rockettes troupe out there missing a member. I think you missed your calling." Ryan said mockingly.

Eric and Dan twittered next to him. Tripp merely regarded Ryan with a withering stare.

"Very funny Wolfe. I'll tell you what that was. That was what it looks like when a red-blooded, American man dances. In my day you weren't supposed to look like you knew what you were doing on a dance floor. Women understood that the guys who were twinkle toes were only interested in dancing with each other." Frank said.

"Yeah, but to be fair Tripp, in your day dinosaurs roamed the Earth, and homosexuality was considered a mental illness," Ryan quipped.

Ryan regretted the words the moment they were out of his mouth. Not that he didn't mean them….Tripp was too old fashioned at times, and really there was nothing wrong with a man being able to dance, or cry, or have to sit out of gym glass all through the entire fifth grade because of asthma. But, Tripp would definitely have a field day with him now. The older man had always made Ryan a little uneasy, especially after the whole fired over gambling, and turning witness for the defense scenarios. Tripp had just begun speaking to him again, and now he'd stuck his foot in it. God damn his OCD! When would he learn tact? What had his Bubbie always said? Oh yeah… "Just a modicum, Ryan, just a modicum of tact that's all I ask".

Ryan waited for the blow. Eric and Dan's expressions mirrored the growing panic Ryan was feeling. But, Tripp, miraculously just smiled. Well, really it was more of a smirk, but it was better than the alternative.

"You're being a real smart ass tonight Wolfe. You're awfully jovial for a man who's been up to no good." Frank said, eyeing him suspiciously.

"Up to no good? What are you talking about?" Ryan asked. His voice had gone up several octaves with his last few words.

Frank just raised his left eyebrow, and continued to stare Ryan down.

"You just watch where, and on whom, you're putting your grubby mitts Wolfe. I got a gun and a shovel, and I don't think enough people would miss you if you follow my drift." Frank said, leaning in closer to Ryan.

Eric and Dan took a collective breath in. Ryan stopped breathing all together. Tripp just leaned in closer and placed a finger on Ryan's tie. The younger man looked down to where the gruff detective's finger lay on his chest. As quickly as Tripp had laid it there he flicked it up to bop Ryan's nose.

"Works every time," Tripp said, grinning as he turned to walk away.

"As you were ladies," He said addressing Eric, Dan and Ryan.

Then like so many of his cowboy forefathers before him Francis Tripp sauntered off into the sunset…or as in this case, the men's room before heading out the door. He'd told Rodriguez and Swank he'd be an hour tops. It was time to get back before all the rookies in MDPD started making the force look like a bad episode of that A&E reality show.

"How does he always get my nose?" Ryan asked no one in particular while rubbing his nface with his sleeve.

"The better question is how he knew you had your "grubby mitts" all over Valera." Eric replied.

"Please," Dan said. "This is MDPD we're talking about. And, the CSI department no less. You're definitely all over Samantha's blog about the office. And, someone probably commandeered the Amber Alert system to broadcast the news all over."

Dan observed the look of panic on Ryan's face, and thought better of his joke.

"Or you know, probably Tripp's just messing with you."

"Speaking of the Valera, and Ryan's grubby mitts all over her…where the hell did she get to?" Eric asked, scanning the dance floor for Calleigh and company.

Ryan and Dan turned to begin searches of their own. But Calleigh, Natalia, Valera and Price now that Dan noticed, were no where to be seen.

"Where could they have gone?" Dan asked, expressing the question on all three men's minds.

"I. Don't. Know." Ryan offered, slowly.

Suddenly, Eric noticed someone approaching them out of the corner of his eye. This someone could help.

"Alexx!" Eric cried, trying to get the former M.E.'s attention.

"What's up baby?" Alexx asked as she neared the three men. "Are all my boys having a good time tonight?"

"Well, I for one would be having a better time if I knew where my wife was." Eric stated. "Have you seen her recently Alexx?"

"And maybe you know where Valera is?" Ryan asked, trying to sound innocent of any grubby mitts shenanigans.

"Um, and Tara, I mean Dr. Price?" Dan interjected.

Alexx just regarded all three with one of her trade mark "You must be kidding me" looks. The last time Eric had seen that particular look was when Alexx had discovered him trying to return the Bracelet-That-Was-Not-Natalia's to Natalia after their "date". Alexx had whipped her head around in an angry Oprah audience member fashion, after she gave him a withering look. At the time, Eric had been seriously concerned for Alexx's neck. That kind of head snap could result in whiplash. Currently, she was giving all three men the same look she'd given Eric that fateful day, but she had no plans of strutting off after whipping her hair in their faces…not yet anyway.

"Well I should know where they are. Seeing as I just saw Calleigh, Natalia, Valera and Tara." Alexx stated.

"So where are they?" Dan asked.

"A little eager aren't we Daniel?" Alexx replied turning her lazer gaze to Cooper.

"No Ma'am. Just wondering is all."

"And I suppose you're just wondering as well?" Alexx asked, turning towards Ryan.

Ryan mumbled something indistinguishable in reponse, and Alexx rolled her eyes.

"Where do you think a group of women would be at a party, at the same time?" Alexx asked. When she noticed the empty gazes of incomprehension staring back at her she tried again. "A group of women… In- a -group."

"Wait I know!" Dan cried. "Chicks always go to the bathroom in packs! Always! My sister told me they do it even if they haven't got to pee!"

"Bingo." Alexx said.

"The bathroom? What the hell are they all doing in there?" Ryan asked.

"Well when I left a few minutes ago they were all talking." Alexx replied.

"So the girly summit has moved to the can?" Eric asked.

"What? It's still going on? Christ, how long can this take?" Ryan was exasperated.

He hadn't known what to expect when Eric had told him that Valera was weighing him up by conferencing with her lady friends. It wasn't like Ryan thought she was going to waltz of the dance floor after talking Natalia's and Calleigh's ears off, and pronounce him the greatest kisser/man she'd ever known, while a power ballad played in the background. Ryan had thought, however, that she would at least have keep him appraised of her whereabouts. How was he supposed to find her later as instructed, if he couldn't find her now?

"Did I miss something?" Alexx asked.

"No. No Alexx, it's just Wolfe wetting his pants as usual." Eric said. "But hey, could you do us a favour Alexx? Maybe go back in there, and see if they have any plans of rejoining festivities any time soon?"

"For real?" Alexx asked. Her eyebrows had nearly disappeared into her hairline by this point.

"Come on Alexx, it's not like I can go in there myself." Eric said.

"Alright, but only because I was invited to the wedding ceremony." Alexx said.

"Thank you Alexx. See, this is why you were invited." Eric said, laying on the charm.

"Oh don't even, baby boy." Alexx replied. She was hip to Eric's games.

With that she turned back towards the bathroom she'd exited only moments before. But, not before rolling her eyes at all three men, and finally snapping her hair in their faces.

"Do you ever wonder if it's a weave?" Ryan asked quietly after making sure Alexx was out of earshot.

Dan and Eric just looked at him.

"Do you ever think before you open your mouth Wolfe?" Eric asked just as quietly.

"Probably not as often as I should," Ryan whispered back.

"Why are you guys whispering?" Dan asked. His own voice was barely audible.

The three men watched with their heads close together as Alexx walked back into the ladies room. What was going on in there?

_What is going on in the lady's room? Why is all important lady business conducted there? What's Valera thinking? Who or what are the dreaded inter-daters?…find out next time…TBC_


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I own nothing...sue all you want half of nothing is nothing squared. Title comes from The Ramones song of the same name.

Author's note: We're nearly done here, maybe another chapter, or two, definitely at least one more, cause it's already written. Thank you to all reviewers, this one goes out to all ya'll, the few and the proud…

Sheena is a Punk Rocker

Entering the ladies room made Alexx feel as though she was stepping into another dimension. A familiar dimension where everybody around her would understand that a simple "fine" actually meant, "You never have anything to say to me anymore, but you could chat it up with the neighbour lady at that barbeque last week couldn't you Cassanova?". In this dimension people where empathetic, and your popularity was based not on money or status, but instead on how many Tampax you had to share out. Alexx was sure that in every bar the world over women were at this moment gathering to pick at their mascara, apply lip gloss and relieve themselves, all while checking out one anothers' outfits. If the ladies room was kingdom unto itself, then Valera was the reigning Queen in this one. She sat perched on the counter-top between the sinks dictating to her rapt subjects. Alexx moved closer, yet not close enough to penetrate the eager circle surrounding Valera. With one eye brow cocked and both her arms crossed Alexx got ready to listen in.

"And then he said…Valera! Really loudly. So of course I look up at him like, What? Are we suddenly fighting now? Is he having a moment? Do people with OCD have moments?" Valera paused long enough to breathe, and allow for any of her compatriots to answer her last question.

Calleigh, Natalia, Tara, several other women from the CSI department and a few random wives and girlfriends said nothing, however. They just continued to stare at Valera with rapt attention.

"It doesn't matter anyways, because he wasn't having a moment, I don't think. Because then he said "This". I mean why would he say "This" if he hadn't planned the whole thing right?"

Again there were only stares. Valera wondered if she wasn't making any sense. She had, after all been drinking, a lot.

"And then?" asked a slightly pudgy girl Valera recognized from Booking.

Valera looked at the woman. What was her name? Julie? Susie? Marcie? It was definitely something Mid-Western that ended with an "ie". Valera realized that Susie, or whoever she was with an "ie" was not only understanding the story, but she was dying to know the end. Valera quickly scanned the faces of the other women, and realized that they too where hanging off her every word. Even Alexx, who was staring at her, hip and eyebrow cocked, had a look in her eyes that said "Yeah, and?" Valera took a deep breathe and prepared to continue in the most dramatic fashion possible.

"And then," She began, holding her words back for a beat, and loving the fact everyone gathered a little closer to her.

"And then, he kissed me. Like really kissed me!"

The women around her began to titter. They turned to each other and exclaimed things like "Oooooh girl!", "Lucky!", "Aaaahhh that's soooo sweet" and one, "Forget this business!" The last phrase was uttered by Alexx as she turned on her heels, hair snapping to leave the crowded bathroom. She was a girl like any other, but she was also a twice married woman, with two children and a lot of life experience under her belt. No way was she getting involved in this soap opera. Alexx had come to celebrate Eric and Calleigh's marriage and nothing else. She'd left Miami Dade PD for a reason, and now the pulsating music, the late hour and the clearly inebriated state of her colleagues were all working to remind her why.

Once Alexx had left the bathroom she immediately began the search for her husband and children. With thoughts of a warm bed, and an even warmer bath on her mind Alexx whizzed past the bar where Eric, Ryan and Dan were still standing.

"Alexx! Hey Alexx! Hold up!" Eric yelled.

Alexx turned around mid- stride to acknowledge him. She did not however, attempt to move within speaking distance of the three men.

"Hey Alexx, are the ladies coming out soon? Where's my hot wife?" Eric called, giving her a smile that was part drunken, part shit- eating and all infuriating.

Alexx simply raised a hand, and gave him a look that could mean only one thing.

"Wow. That was the international symbol for "Bitch Please!" Ryan commented as Alexx walked away in a huff.

xxXxx

Meanwhile, back in the bathroom Valera had finished giving a play by play commentary about what had occurred between her and Ryan. Then, she and her audience had moved on to dissecting every word, movement and action Ryan had uttered or performed that night. Presently, they were debating the pros and cons of "what could be" between her and Ryan if this "thing" they had went any further. So far, the entire relationship had been mapped out, and all possible outcomes, bad or good, had been theorized about and debated. "How the first date might go" had been discussed just after, "What do we really know about each other?", "Are we compatible?", and before "Will Ryan's parents want him to marry a Jew?", and "Would Valera theoretically convert to any religion for the right man?" No one mentioned the irrelevance of such discussions before one had even been on a first date.

"I mean I suppose I could, you know, at least pretend to be religious for the right man." Valera said.

"Yeah but, we've been over this before. I don't think Ryan's religious at all. Look how much he scoffed at Eric for believing in Santoria when we worked that case with the Voodoo vic." Natalia said rolling her eyes.

"Yeah he scoffed, but then he started believing in it too!" Valera cried.

"Well, I think that had more to do with the whole hands going numb incident than any thing else." Calleigh stated.

"True. But even if Ryan is nonchalant about whom he dates, parents rarely are. I know my parents have really strong beliefs. If I came home with a Republican I know they'd hit the roof. Or a guy that eats meat even." Valera said, while checking her teeth for lipgloss.

"Well clearly that rules Ryan out anyways. Because I'm fairly sure he eats anything and everything." Calleigh said jokingly.

She could remember the first few weeks of Ryan's time as a CSI. She and Eric had thought they were going to have to start taking their lunch break two hours earlier, or put a padlock on the communal fridge, just to ensure they got to eat their own food. Calleigh didn't hold it against the younger CSI. He'd been only twenty-five when he'd started. She still remembered him looking more like a boy then, all eyes and cheekbones. She'd figured he needed the food more than her anyway. Ryan clearly had some growing left to do at the time.

"Yeah and speaking of Ryan's eating habits I'm 99 percent sure I've seen him eat ham." Tara interjected. "I mean I didn't know he was Jewish till now, cause I don't really know any of you."

Tara stopped then and realized she'd implied that either she was a stuck up bitch, or the other ladies were. But no one seemed to have noticed, in fact, they were all patiently waiting for her to continue.

"So obviously he doesn't take the kosher thing to seriously." Tara finished.

"And, why are we having this discussion anyway?" Natalia asked.

A dozen sets of eyes peered at her after this comment. Most of them were framed by disbelieving eye brows all daring her to finish her thought. Natalia knew all the women around her were afraid she'd turn traitor like Alexx, and express out loud how silly their entire debate was. But, that had not been Natalia's plan.

"If you like someone, you like them. And if it turns out to be love it shouldn't matter what religion or colour or whatever, they are."

The women standing around Natalia, immediately sighed their approval.

"I know that. Jeepers, I grew up with Nelson Mandela's biggest supporters for parents. I used to get lectures on the philosophy of John Lennon…but love doesn't happen in a void you guys. It's like all our experiments in the lab. They only tell us what happens to our variables in a pure, controlled atmosphere with no interference. Real life isn't like that. We can't think about this in terms of if it was just me and Ryan. It's not. There's family, there's exes, there's personal biases and preferences. And, that's not even mentioning the fact we work together!" Valera paused for a breath.

She needed it after such an outpouring. Then she spread her hands, widened her eyes and began again.

"And, and if me and Ryan go out, after Calleigh and Eric have just got married, we'll all be creepy inter-daters!"

Valera paused again, for effect and waited for a reaction.

"Creepy, what- nows?" Calleigh asked, her face a cloud of confusion.

"You know. Inter-daters. Well maybe you don't. I'm talking about that group of people you know…maybe you knew them in high school, maybe college. Maybe you work with them. They're too sad and pathetic to go outside there little group of co-ed friends, so they always date each other. They switch partners now and again simply to have some drama. Like a bad episode of Dawsons Creek." Valera replied.

"Are you implying that Eric and I are sad and pathetic? Or that at some point I'll be sleeping with Ryan for drama?" Calleigh asked incredulously. "Because let me tell you something Valera, that will never happen. Never."

"Oh, no. Oh God, that's not what I meant Calleigh. I'm sorry." Valera apologized profusely.

The twelve, or so, other women in the bathroom had backed up away from Calleigh and Valera. The ladies bathroom was a treacherous place. One moment it could be all smiles, hugs, compliments and sharing of lipstick. The next moment there could be an all out catfight. It only took one sideways glance that said, "Your outfit is awful. Who are you trying to kid?" Or say, one woman suggesting another woman was sad and pathetic for marrying her co-worker, or carrying last year's it bag.

"No Calleigh, honestly I didn't mean it way it sounded. You and Eric are my Darcy and Elizabeth. I know that makes no sense right now. But I think what you guys have is kismet. I just don't know if I could say the same for me and Ryan. I mean sure I like the guy, he's cute and all. But that's not the same as destined-to-be-together. And that's what you and Eric are, were, are." Valera tried, in a scattered manner, to explain herself.

Calleigh said nothing in return. Valera and the others waited on bated breath wondering how this would play out. When Calleigh's eyes welled up with tears Valera's heart sank.

"Ya'll really think me and Eric were destined to be together? Like Darcy and Elizabeth?" Calleigh asked, fixing Valera with a watery smile.

The tension in the bathroom dropped remarkably as Valera, and the others rushed to assure Calleigh of how romantic, destined and not pathetic at all they thought it was that she and Eric had married. Like most pow- wows in the ladies toilet, this one ended in a group hug.

"Okay, Valera," Calleigh began, while wiping her eyes. "Everything has to have a beginning. And, no one can predict the future. So, if you like Ryan, and he's not going to be a big girl about all this. And, assuming you will be a big girl, a grown woman even, about all this. You'll both just have to take a chance and see if there's something more here."

"Exactly!" Natalia exclaimed.

"So now what?" Valera asked.

"Now we leave this bathroom and I take my tall, dark and handsome husband home!" Calleigh replied with vigour.

"Omigod Calleigh! I totally forgot this is your sort of wedding. Oh man, I've been monopolizing everything and everyone!" Valera said, her eyes widening in horror as she realized her faux pas.

"You go! Go out there and get Eric! And I'll just stay right here!" Valera exclaimed while pushing Calleigh towards the door.

"Alright, alright, don't push, I'm going." Calleigh said moving towards the door.

Suddenly the petite blond stopped and turned around to eye Valera.

"What do you mean you'll stay here?" Calleigh asked slowly giving Valera an inquisitive one over.

"Noth-Nothing. Who knows what I said right? I've been drinking, you've been drinking, we've all been drinking. Good times." Valera said with forced levity.

"Maxine Valera why don't you want to leave this bathroom?" Calleigh asked. "Are you afraid to face Ryan again?"

"What? Of course not! Scared of Ryan? Wolfe? Pssssthhh!" Valera stopped hamming it up when she noticed everyone was staring at her.

"Okay, maybe I am. But you would be too! How many times ladies, how many times have you accidentally made out with someone while drunk, and then were afraid to face them? Let's be honest we've all got someone who's an embarrassing memory."

Twelve sets of well made up eyes looked shamefully down at the floor. Valera was drunk, but she'd spoken the truth. Tara was the first to look up.

"Darius Thompson. Second year university. I drank a box of coolers. His pants were so low they might as well have been around his knees. He called me "bitch" and I actually made out with him." Tara said, widening her eyes as if she was lost in some long repressed memory.

"A lawyer." Calleigh said. "I don't even remember his name. He smelled like cheese. It was a bar in South Beach. I was drunk, it was my best friend's birthday."

Women began to randomly say things like, "His name was Myron", "It only happened because my best-friend got engaged just as I lost my job", "There's way more alcohol in those coolers than you think", "I just wanted to kiss someone" and the ever popular "We were all broke, and it got him to buy us drinks."

Valera felt better knowing she was not the first woman to get drunk and make out with someone on a dance floor. She'd known she was in good company, but it was nice to hear it confirmed. Natalia was telling her own story about drunken regrets to the plump girl from Booking when she suddenly stopped.

"Wait a second! Valera are you saying what just happened out there was a mistake? Is that why you can't face Ryan?" Natalia's black eyes flashed under the bathroom lights.

"Um, well not totally. I mean Ryan's not a lawyer, and he doesn't smell like cheese. Sorry Cal. There's nothing wrong with Ryan per se." Valera said, squirming under Natalia's gaze.

"Really? Cause you know Ryan's a really nice guy. He's funny, better educated then most people in our department and just…really…nice." Natalia said folding her arms.

"You think so hey?" Valera said narrowing her eyes, and mimicking Natalia's posture.

Calleigh watched in silent amazement. Was this really happening? Was she standing in a bathroom watching two women about fight over a man? Calleigh took a deep breath and surveyed her surroundings. She was pretty sure she was still in Miami and not back water Louisiana. The last time Calleigh had witnessed a girl on girl fight over a man was at a party on the Bayou. She'd been fifteen and visiting her cousins. The cousins her mother referred to as "those wild creatures related to your Father". Belinda and Rayanne had indulged in too much moonshine that night and come to blows over Bobby Joe Armstrong. Calleigh remembered how, well, masculine Bobby Joe had been, and handsome as sin. The kind of man that women could easily come to blows over. She burst out laughing when she pictured Ryan in her head, and imagined Natalia and Valera fighting over him.

Valera and Natalia both turned to look at her with narrowed eyes.

"I'm sorry ya'll…but do ya'll know how you sound? Natalia do you have a crush on Ryan too or something?" Calleigh asked through her laughter.

Valera turned shocked eyes towards Natalia. Natalia met the younger woman's gaze defiantly, but not before Valera noticed the embarrassed look that passed over her friend's face.

"Oh. My. God. Natalia!" Valera was gob-smacked.

She was also jealous. Ryan had asked Natalia out once. Everyone had known about his lengthy crush. It might never have ended if it hadn't been for Natalia's outing as the departmental mole. If anything Valera had thought his anger at the time only betrayed how fond his feelings had been. Ryan had been crushed when Natalia had slipped off the pedestal he'd put her on. What if Ryan still had a thing for Natalia? What if Natalia had developed a thing for him? Valera sighed despondently. She probably should have known better. Ryan was drunk. So was she. What had happened between them was just the result of too much champagne. In an effort to appear unaffected she threw back her head in a casual manner, and turned to address Natalia.

"Well if you like Ryan so much why don't you go out there and show him?" Valera said in a challenging tone.

"Maybe I would," Natalia countered.

Valera's stomach dropped.

"Maybe I would, if I thought there was any use in it." Natalia continued. "But, and listen when I say this Maxine, but from the way he was looking at you when we were all dancing out there, I'd have no chance."

Valera felt as if the wind had been knocked out of her. She was simultaneously happy and sad. Happy, that she wasn't fooling herself, Ryan might actually feel some form of attraction to her. But her joy was marred by Natalia's obvious pain. At least, she assumed Natalia probably found it painful to think Ryan preferred Valera. Maxine knew she'd have been pained a great deal if their roles were reversed. Valera bargained with herself, and decided she'd give Natalia one last chance. If the older woman didn't take it, all bets were off.

"No really Nat. If you care about Ryan you should tell him. I-I don't want to come between anything. I mean for all I know you two have something going on that's complicated or…" Valera's words were cut off by Natalia reaching for her hands.

"Max. I don't have anything with Ryan," Natalia said, searching her friend's face. "He's a nice guy. And, when he asked me out that first time it really made up for how Eric had treated me. Sorry Cal."

"No apology needed. I didn't condone that behaviour." Calleigh said, waving off Natalia's regret.

"What I'm trying to say is I liked how I looked through Ryan's eyes. But he wasn't seeing me, just a fantasy. And, I meant what I said before. I think Ryan's really into you." Natalia explained while still holding Valera's hand.

"You think?" Valera asked.

"Yes." This time Natalia and Calleigh answered her.

"So let's go out there and get em!" Calleigh instantly regretted uttering such a lame phrase the moment it was out of her mouth.

But she couldn't think of anything else to say to end this awkward conversation between her two friends. Not to mention think of a way to get the twelve women in front of her out of the bathroom. Calleigh didn't want to spend anymore time in the bathroom. In fact, she was running out of the urge to party as well. She figured the change had occurred somewhere between consuming her weight in champagne with Natalia, and crying in a bathroom over how much she loved Eric. The moment she'd found herself in a group hug she'd known things had gone to far. Now, Calleigh just wanted to go home with her husband, and lie down. Eric probably wanted to do more than lie down, and Calleigh understood that. But, Eric was definitely doing all the work if he expected to get laid tonight. A phrase she'd heard her father use once drifted through her mind…Victorian fuck.

"Come on ya'll, let's get out of this bathroom. I for one am tired of looking at these walls." Calleigh said, while directing the women opposite her to the door.

There were murmured agreements from the other women in the bathroom, as they slowly shifted towards the exit. Calleigh led the way on the outward journey, while Valera, Natalia and Tara took up the rear. Calleigh paused outside the door and waited for her three friends to make their way out of the crowd.

"Alright," she began as Natalia, Tara and Valera appeared before her. "I'm going to go say goodnight to my folks. Because, Lord knows they are gonna be on the go till the sun comes up. Y'all are free to do as you please. Stay, Go, start a conga line, whatever. But once I find my parents, I'm gonna collect Eric and get out of here."

"Of course, Cal. It's your night." Natalia was the first to speak.

Tara and Valera both expressed their agreement, and hugged Calleigh before she left to seek out her parents.

"So," Natalia began. "You guys staying? Going? And by that I mean, what are you doing after you speak to Ryan, Valera?"

"I know, okay, I know. See this? This is me walking towards Ryan." Valera replied, as she took a step forward.

"I'll come with you." Tara said, taking Valera's arm. "I know it's easier if you have someone else with you. And, I should say good-night to Dan. He's been very chivalrous tonight. I didn't think anyone but Alexx would talk to me."

The two women started forward, but Valera paused when she realized Natalia wasn't right behind them.

"Nat?" Valera asked, turning to look at the older woman. "Are you coming with?"

"No, actually I'm gonna grab a cab before the mass exodus starts." Natalia said.

Valera left Tara's side to walk back to Natalia.

"Are you sure?" Valera asked once she was standing in front of her friend. "And I mean, are you sure you're ok with me and Ryan. I mean, not that there _is _a me and Ryan."

"Not yet, there's not a you a Ryan. But I'm perfectly fine with there potentially, and actually, being a you and Ryan." Natalia said as she hugged Valera good- bye.

"Okay. See you on Monday. I'll call you tomorrow." Valera said walking back towards Tara.

"You better!" Natalia called as she headed for the door.

xxXxx

Natalia stood outside the club trying to flag down a taxi. As the third cab she'd tried to hail passed her, she threw her hands up and looked about the small parking area. A cab was coming towards her from the other end of the parking lot. Natalia wondered if it had a fare picked up already, or if this might be her chance to get home. She let out an exasperated breath when the light on top of the cab went out, signaling that the driver had indeed found a passenger. Natalia was about to get out her cell, and call a cab company when the same cab she'd given up on pulled in along side her. Natalia stepped back as one of the cab's doors opened and Horatio Caine stepped out.

"Ma'am." Horatio said simply.

He was holding the door open, and indicating to Natalia that she should get in.

"Oh, thank you Horatio. But I don't think we're going the same way."

"No. No we're most assuredly not. As I, I am going to wait here for the next cab. But you're going to take this one." Horatio replied, holding his hand out to Natalia.

Natalia took the proffered hand and allowed herself to be guided into the back of the cab. Horatio shut the door behind her, before walking around to speak with the driver.

"Mr. Santiago, make sure the lady here gets home safe, okay?" Horatio said, tapping the top of the vehicle as it pulled away.

Natalia turned to watch Horatio fade into the distance. A smile played on her features. She wasn't sure how he did it, but Horatio Caine always managed to be there when she needed him.

Horatio looked back towards the bar. If he couldn't get home immediately he might as well check on the situation back inside.

xxXxx

Back inside, Tara and Valera had reached the bar where Ryan was standing with Dan and Eric. Ryan found he was unable to speak to, or look directly at, Valera. Dan waved at Tara, but the M.E. didn't leave Valera's side given the situation. Eric tried to smooth over the awkwardness that was stunting their once merry gathering.

"Ladies!" He exclaimed with an enthusiastic smile. "Glad you decided to join us again. There's only one thing missing, my wife."

"Oh. Cal's just gone to say good night to her parents. Eric, I know you're in the mood for some fun, but I think Calleigh really wants to go home to bed." Valera said.

Eric's grin became even wider.

"That's not a problem at all. Because honestly, I love you all, thanks for coming, enjoy the show and what not, but I am seriously ready to take my woman home and get our freak on."

"Did you actually just say get our freak on?" Ryan asked, his disbelief momentarily overriding the embarrassment that had silenced him.

"Um, that's not what I meant…." Valera's voice trailed off as she looked over Eric's shoulder.

Tara noticed Valera's preoccupation and followed her eyes to the spot over Eric's shoulder. Her eyes widened in fear and this tipped Dan and Ryan off to turn and look as well. Calleigh was standing right behind Eric…with her parents.

"What? Why's everybody acting all weird?" Eric asked trying to meet anyone's eyes.

Valera simply stuck out her index finger and revolved it in a manner that indicated Eric should turn around. Eric followed suit and came face to face with his wife. There was no telling from her face if she'd heard the last thing to come out of his mouth. The look on his father in law's face however, confirmed for him that they had indeed witnessed the last few moments.

"Eric," Calleigh started.

She paused for a moment as her voice shook, and Eric nearly died. Until he realized she was trying to fight back laughter, not anger.

"Yes Darling?" He asked trying not to smile.

"My parents just wanted to say good-bye before we left for the night. Momma? Daddy?"

She stepped back so her parents could approach Eric.

"Thank you for coming Bella. Please feel free to stay as long as you like. Or, at least till they start kicking people out." Eric said, hugging his mother in law.

Belladonna Duquesne had looked stricken enough by what she'd overheard Eric say about her daughter. Eric's hug only upped the awkwardness factor for her. Calleigh died laughing on the inside, as she watched her husband force her mother into an embrace. No one was less openly affectionate, or more worried about etiquette than her mother. Calleigh could only imagine what her mother would say the next time they were alone together. She'd already warned Calleigh, privately of course, that she should expect some exaggerated shows of affection and jealousy from her new husband. Bella had explained that such displays would be the norm given Eric's "Latin side". Calleigh had nearly choked holding her laughter at the time, and then had promptly run to Eric and told him about the entire conversation. Once they had both finished laughing, Eric had pledged to be as affectionate as possible with his mother in law. He'd also thought about maybe causing a really dramatic scene at Christmas or Thanksgiving just for the hell of it.

Once he released Belladonna Eric turned to The Duke. This one would be trickier. Calleigh's father was clearly more worldly then his wife, but he was like any other father when it came to his daughter. One did not discuss things of a sexual nature that they were going to do to his little girl in front of him. Wedding rings be damned.

"Sir," Eric said holding out his hand.

"Son." The Duke answered, grasping Eric's hand so hard the younger man was afraid the bones might break.

The Duke pumped his hand up and down, all the while giving Eric a look that said, "This time I won't kill you, next time you won't be so lucky". When the older man released his hand Eric fought the urge to check it for injury, and politely bade his father in law a good night. As the older couple walked away Calleigh moved to stand by him, and took his uninjured hand in her own.

"So what do you say Mr. Delektorsky? Are you ready to go home?" Calleigh asked looking up at him.

"Whatever you want, Mrs. Delektorsky." Eric said leaning over to kiss her.

"Alright, let's get the hell out of Dodge." Calleigh replied.

The couple turned to face their four friends.

"If anyone asks, we left." Eric said looking at them all.

"Yeah, and tell them we said thanks for coming." Calleigh added.

"I don't know, you two," Ryan began. "Aren't the married couple supposed to stay and have a last dance, and shake everyone's hand?"

"Yeah, fuck that noise Wolfe." Eric replied shoving Ryan a little. "That's why this is only a sort-of wedding. So I sort of don't have to do any of that bullshit."

Calleigh giggled at Eric's retort, and turned to hug Ryan.

"Oh, we do appreciate everything you guys did in the run up to tonight, and we do thank you for coming." She said, as she held Ryan close.

"But," Calleigh continued as she let go of Ryan to hug Dan. "I want to go home before this champagne drunk gets any worse. So everybody can shake their own damn hands."

Calleigh paused when she got to Valera, and lifted an eyebrow at her friend. Valera mouthed "I know" at her as Calleigh swept her into a hug.

"You better." Calleigh murmured into Valera's ear, before turning to speak with Tara.

"Thank you for coming Tara. I know it might have been more of a work obligation for you, but I do hope you enjoyed yourself. And welcome, truly, from us all." Calleigh said, hugging the young woman.

"Oh thank you. And no, it wasn't an obligation at all. I'm glad I came." Tara replied. "But I am getting tired. I'll walk you guys out, and be on my way as well."

Tara turned towards Dan.

"Dan, would you walk me to the door, we can see Eric and Calleigh off, maybe throw something at them in lieu of rice."

"Well I did see a few statues by the door." Dan joked as he took Tara's arm in his own, and motioned for Eric and Calleigh to lead the way.

Valera and Ryan watched their four co-workers leave. Dan's joke about the statues had been amusing enough that they momentarily forgot they were alone. That is, until the laughter wore off, and they turned to face one another. Ryan began to panic. He'd counted on Natalia to be trailing around with Valera. But, she didn't seem to have come out of the bathroom. It couldn't possibly be just the two of them again could it?

"Uh…where's Natalia?" Ryan asked.

"Why?" Valera asked sharply. "Were you waiting for her or something?"

Valera's anger caught Ryan off guard, and increased his fear by about a hundred percent.

"Um…no. I just, um, noticed she wasn't here. And last I saw you, her and Cal were thick as thieves. So I just assumed she was around."

"Oh. No. She, she went home. After we left the bathroom, she went home." Valera knew she was repeating herself, and she felt horrible about the way she'd snapped at Ryan.

"Oh, cool. Um, so what are you….are you sticking around at all?" Ryan asked, looking anywhere but at Valera's face.

"I think, I think I might go home. You know. It's been a pretty crazy night." Valera said.

"Yeah, pretty crazy," Ryan echoed. "I'll probably just go home too."

"Yeah."

"Yeah."

Neither of them made a move to leave, however, instead Ryan stared at the floor while Valera prayed to fall through it.

"Ok, well I'm just gonna go." Ryan said, turning to leave.

He really wasn't sure what he'd expected Valera to say or do. But he'd at least expected her to say something. Even if it was, "This night was a terrible mistake". Ryan stood back on to Valera clenching his fists and looking at the ceiling. Was he going to do it? Would he turn around and make a fool out of himself by asking Valera for a date, or even an explanation? Ryan closed his eyes for a second, and was about to make his decision when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

Valera had watched as Ryan made to leave, the dejection pouring off of him. She knew it was her fault, or at least partly her fault. She wanted to grab him, and tell him…tell him what? Calleigh and Natalia had just told her to talk to him. They hadn't left Valera with any instructions as to what to say. With no idea what she was going to say next Valera reached out her hand, and grabbed Ryan by the shoulder.

"Ryan?" His name came out as a mixture of statement and question.

"Yeah?" He asked without turning around.

"Could you, um, could you turn around please?"

Ryan turned to face Valera. She let her arm drop from his shoulder to her side. When Valera opened her mouth to speak she fixed her eyes on his tie. She couldn't bear to see his face right now.

"I think, I think maybe we should talk. I was gonna get my roommate to pick me up. But, maybe you could walk me home? I'll call you a cab from there. It's not too far, probably twenty minutes tops. I mean, that probably does seem long to you, but you know me, I bike everyday, and walk, so it doesn't seem that far. But we could share a cab if not…"

"I can walk." Ryan said quickly, his words cutting off her rambling.

"Yeah?" Valera asked, her eyes hesitant.

"Yeah sure, I could probably do with some fresh air."

"Okay, great, let me get my purse." Valera said, her eyes had made their way to his, and she was smiling.

"Sure thing. I'll be right here."

Ryan exhaled sharply as Valera made her way back to the table they'd been sitting at earlier with Dan. He wondered if he'd just dodged a bullet, or if the worst was yet to come. He also pondered the possibility that something great might be about to happen. He wanted to believe, perhaps worse than Fox Mulder had ever wanted too. But Valera's demeanor wasn't giving him a lot of hope. Ryan was fairly certain he was going to spend the next twenty minutes, or more, beating the streets of Miami with Valera, while she explained to him why they should just be friends. He was drunk, and he was definitely going to be hung over tomorrow. A cab would have him home in no time, and with less stress on his feet. Ryan knew he could just walk away now and tell Valera he'd changed his mind, but he also knew he wouldn't.

"Okay I'm set. Let's go." Valera said walking up to him.

They walked in silence till they got to the door. Ryan was about to open the door for Valera when she turned to him with a look on her face that screamed urgency.

"Wait!" She cried.

Ryan stopped in his tracks. Was this it? Was he finally going to get the yay or nay?

"I have to pee." Valera stated matter of factly.

"Okay." Ryan said, slightly confused.

"I, I didn't go, back when me and Cal and Nat were in the ladies. And, I should before I try to walk ten blocks or so." Valera explained.

"Oh, oh yeah, sure. Go ahead I'll wait here." Ryan said, waving her back towards the interior of the club.

"Thanks." Valera said, rushing towards the ladies room.

Ryan waited till she was out of sight.

"Jesus Christ!" He threw his hands in the air.

What had she been doing in that bathroom for half an hour or more? Obviously, nothing the bathroom is meant for. Ryan tried to clear the anger from his mind, and ignore the fact he himself had managed to use the washroom twice, for its actual purpose, in the time Valera had spent in there with Calleigh and Natalia.

"Mr. Wolfe. Is something the matter?"

Ryan turned to see Horatio standing beside him.

"Oh, hey H. No, no nothing's the matter. Just you know, praising our, er, your Lord." Ryan replied.

"I see."

"What are you doing out here anyways H? I thought you left awhile ago." Ryan said to his boss.

"I did. But it would seem that events keep preventing my leaving." Horatio replied mysteriously.

"Yeah? Like what kind of events?" Ryan asked.

Ryan wondered if Horatio was intentionally vague at all times, or if he was really just that mysterious.

"Well, every time I hail a cab, someone in more need of transportation comes by. Just recently it was Calleigh, Eric, Dan and Dr. Price." Horatio said grinning.

"Oh." Ryan hadn't expected such a mundane answer. He'd figured something had blown up, or H had been forced to shoot something…until it blew up.

"Well," Ryan continued. "You don't have to worry about me. I don't need a cab."

"Really? Then how are you getting home Mr. Wolfe? I hope you're not considering driving." Horatio's voice had a touch of warning in it.

"What? No, of course not H. I'm walking. With…Valera." Ryan knew his voice had gotten smaller at the end of his speech. He prayed Horatio didn't notice.

"Is that right?" Horatio asked, looking alternatively at Ryan and the floor.

"Yeah, she uh, she wants to walk, and you know, women shouldn't walk alone."

"No, no they shouldn't. Let me ask you Mr. Wolfe. Is that the only reason you're walking Ms. Valera home?" Horatio asked.

Horatio was now looking Ryan straight in the face.

"Well, uh, yeah. There's not many other reasons to, I guess, besides my health and uh, it's good for the environment."

"I see. Well you know Ryan a smart man once said nothing ventured," Horatio paused to put on his sunglasses. "Nothing gained."

With those final words of wisdom Horatio left Ryan at the door as an empty cab pulled up in front of the club. Ryan watched his boss leave and wondered how the hell he could see in those glasses at night. He also thought about H's words. Clearly, they were meant to be encouraging. Ryan hoped there was something to be encouraged about.

"Alright, all done!" Valera chirped as she approached him.

"Great." Ryan said, as he held the door open for her.

He waited for Valera to exit before following her out into the balmy night.

_Aaaaaaawkwaaaaard… walk of shame or something else? Tune in next time, same bat time, same bat channel...TBC!_


	7. Chapter 7

Here it is, the last chapter…I own nothing but George. Thank you ever so much to everyone who read and reviewed. This was fun, we should do it again sometime.

Let's Dance

_Hey baby yeah you thrill the soul, hold me close, don't you let me go.  
Well let's dance.  
Hey baby if you're all alone, baby you'll let me walk you home.  
Let's dance._

Ryan and Valera stepped out into the humid Miami night. Ryan was struck, as he always was even after seven years of residence in Miami, by the heat and lights. Miami never seemed to change. There were no dark and stormy nights, save the occasional hurricane. No gray, gritty streets. No seasons that marked out the Earth's rotation, at least none like the kind he had experienced growing up in Boston. There were tough neighbourhoods in Miami to be sure. Ryan remembered the first time he entered Little Havana on a ride along as a rookie. He'd lived in New York City as well as Boston, and had lots of experience with dangerous neighbourhoods. But Miami was different. The sun, the surf the palm trees, they all lured one in to a false sense of security. Ryan had known how dangerous Little Havana and Haiti could be on that first ride along, but it had still seemed wrong to him that such menace could exist in such a paradise like landscape. If Miami had taught him anything it was that location had nothing to do with crime. As long biting poverty continued to couple with low access to public services and education there would be criminals.

"Ryan?" Valera asked looking up at him.

She was beginning to worry. He'd said nothing since they had exited the club.

"Yeah?" Ryan answered vaguely.

"You seem like you're a million miles away," Valera stated. "Is something wrong?"

Valera knew that asking such a loaded question might be tantamount to setting of a bomb, but she figured the conversation had to begin somehow.

"Oh, no, I mean the silence had nothing to do with you." Ryan knew that was probably not the best response, but it was the truth.

He hurried to explain himself once he saw the look on Valera's face. "I mean, I was just thinking about random stuff. I'm always amazed by the weather in Miami. I know it's supposed to be tropic, I expect it to be tropic, but then when I get up everyday knowing I'm probably going to encounter murder it seems odd that the sun is shining. If that makes any sense."

"No, I do get it, but the sun isn't shining right now. What made you think about all this stuff?" Valera knew they should be talking about what happened between them inside the club but this just seemed safer.

"I guess I'm still surprised the weather is always the same, even at night. Back home people would complain on rainy days, or during bad snow storms. The weather actually affected people's moods. I guess I still can't believe for the first few seconds I walk out my door that in such great weather, day or night, I'm gonna have to investigate a murder. I've always associated waking up to hot and sunny weather as the precursor to a great day. Not a rape, homicide, molestation, armed robbery, and all the other stuff we see in the run of a day."

Valera wrinkled her nose and thought about the implications of what Ryan had just said.

"But you must have known when you joined a police force in a major city there was a reason said police force was needed." She reasoned.

"Of course. But I guess it's just one of those word or thought associations we all have. Growing up Miami meant vacation. Florida's where elderly Jews go to die, er, retire. Like a lot of tourists I forgot that for the people who live here, Miami is home. And that people get up everyday, go to work, live their lives and sometimes are the victims or perpetrators of crime." Ryan answered, while edging Valera closer to the inside of sidewalk so he could walk on the outside, just in case.

"I think I know what you mean," Valera said. "When I finished grad school, me and three of my friends went to Europe. You know to do the whole eurotrip thing. And at first I was really uptight about plans, logistics, wearing a money belt and sensible shoes. Basically anyone within sight of me probably knew I was tourist. Then my friend George pointed out to me that British, French and Italian people all live their day to day lives without money belts, ugly sneakers and getting mugged continuously on public transportation."

"A eurotrip hey? Where did you go?" Ryan asked.

He and Valera it would seem, were too caught up in the present to bother with any discussion about what had occurred earlier that night between them. But, that of course was not the case. For Valera discussing her youthful misadventures was easier than facing the one she was currently in the midst of, and Ryan reasoned as long as she was talking about Europe and not them, he could avoid the humiliation of rejection just that much longer.

However, after a complicated story about a flat bike tire, the French countryside during a rain storm, a lecherous French man, and her friend George's disdain for biking, rain, mud and the aforementioned French man Valera ran out of funny anecdotal stories to relate. At the end of her lengthy story Ryan realized two things, George was actually a woman a la Nancy Drew and they were probably very near Valera's neighbourhood by now. Time was running out, and so far they had not made any attempt to face the proverbial elephant in the room. Valera, in an effort to avoid any unpleasantness, was currently describing the view from a balcony in the Vatican using clichés that typically made her cringe in embarrassment when other people employed them.

"It was breath-taking you know? Such a once in a life time experience. You really felt connected to history."

"Yeah that's great. Listen Valera, are we anywhere near your place yet?" Ryan asked. As usual the more nervous he got the more his manners failed him.

Valera stopped walking and talking abruptly to look around. She took note of the familiar landmarks and ascertained that yes, they were near her home. Only a mere five minutes walk in fact.

"Yeah, my place is on the next right." Valera stated with some foreboding.

"Okay, well before we take the next right may I suggest something?" Ryan asked.

"Sure?" Valera replied uncertainly.

She had a feeling he was not going to suggest getting some food or giving her a foot massage, two things she could really do with at the moment. As opposed to say a lengthy and incredibly awkward conversation with a co-worker about how you both had just made a spectacle of yourselves at the wedding of two mutual friends.

"Alright, here goes. You asked me to walk you home because you thought we should talk. And we've certainly been doing a lot of talking. But not really talking, if you follow me. So I think before we go any further we should." Ryan said after summoning up all his courage.

It never ceased to amaze Ryan that he could run after dangerous criminals, get shot at on a regular basis and still find the opposite sex to be incredibly scary. Learned behaviour was such a bitch.

"Okay." Valera answered.

Ryan simply stared at her. Okay? That was it?

Valera realized his incredulous look probably meant he had expected a little more from her. "So you want me to start?"

"Yeah, that'd be helpful, and maybe you know, before the sun comes up." Sarcasm was always his shield.

"Jesus Ryan, why don't you make this even harder? I mean way to ingratiate yourself" Valera said moving into a defensive stance.

"Ingratiate myself? Now I have to ingratiate myself? What changed between now and the moment you let me kiss you in front of everyone we know?"

In grade school Ryan had been friends with the one Korean kid in the neighbourhood, Tommy Shin. They were a perfect pair because every time Tommy got angry, scared or exasperated his English lapsed. Ryan, in similar situations became a cantankerous jerk. Currently, Valera was giving him the kind of look Tommy usually did before sputtering or screaming, "Why you such an asshole?".

"I'm 99 percent certain there was a better way for you to express yourself," Valera began. "But I'm gonna let that one slide because I think you lack the filter the rest of us have between our brain and our mouths."

Ryan accepted her anger and her mercy, but that didn't change the fact he thought his point was valid.

"You're right, I was rude, and I'm sorry. But a few hours ago Valera we were having a good time. And I don't just mean on the dance floor. I thought we, you know, connected tonight." Ryan was looking anywhere but at Valera directly.

"I see."

"Okay connected is a kitschy word, I know. But I'd like to think we kissed tonight not just because we, I, drank a half a table of beer, but also because we learned new things about each other. New things that maybe changed the way we see each other." Ryan said, still staring at the street light Valera was standing next to in an effort to avoid eye contact.

"Well technically I'm the only one who shared any new information about myself," Valera said. "You now know my parents are hippies, I was a loser in high school and that I think you're handsome. The only new information I have about you is that you went to Hebrew school and Natalia might be carrying a torch for you."

"Uh, what?" Ryan wasn't sure he'd heard the last part right.

"I said, you know a lot more about where I stand then I do about you…and Natalia probably has a thing for you." Valera mumbled.

"I'm not sure I'm following here. What do I know your stand on, and what does Natalia have to do with this?" Ryan asked.

"Um, gee Ryan let's see! I pretty much told you I like you genuinely as a person, and that I think you're attractive, and then let you kiss me. What do you suppose that means? But you, I don't know what you're thinking. We don't talk outside of work. It's always you, Eric, Calleigh and Natalia as the four Musketeers. For all I know you were just really drunk or lonely tonight." Valera's face had become a kaleidoscope of emotions, and Ryan found he could no longer avoid looking her in the eyes.

"Do you think I'd be here if I was just drunk or lonely?" He asked.

"That's what I'm saying Ryan. I. Don't. Know. But apparently you think I'm the one throwing cold water on the whole situation."

Valera crossed and uncrossed her arms, blew the newly blonde hair out of her eyes and continued.

"All I know is tonight I sat down with you and Dan because I was alone at a party. Then you said some things that made me feel bad for you, because I feel…I mean, I've always thought you were good people. And I didn't let you kiss me because I was drunk, well, maybe I let you kiss me because I was drunk. But that doesn't mean I've never thought about it happening. And it did, but then in the bathroom, Natalia sort of told me she thinks you're a great guy, just not the guy for her, but she could've just been saving face. And maybe you'd rather be with Natalia. Or maybe you're just being a gentleman and walking me home to let me down easy."

Ryan considered everything she said for a moment before attempting to make a reply. Apparently, Valera didn't feel very secure about his intentions towards her. This fact seemed to upset her. That meant it stood to reason that she wanted him to have some sort of intentions. Ryan's eyes widened as the penny finally dropped. Valera was worried he'd hurt her if she took what happened tonight to heart. He could hurt Valera, because she cared…about him.

"I was kind of expecting the same thing…from you." Ryan stated, while stuffing his hands in his pockets and staring at the ground.

"Expecting what?" Valera asked.

"You know, to be let down easy, I thought that was the point of this walk. Usually this situation ends with the girl dragging you somewhere private to "talk"," Ryan resisted the urge to use air quotes, or his sarcastic voice. "When what the talk always turns about to be is a lecture on how we should just be friends, or if I'm really lucky, it includes some back story about the guy she's really interested in, who p.s. is probably an asshole."

"Oh," Valera paused before bravely stating the obvious. "Well, maybe this is a case of misunderstanding, on say a Shakespearean level?"

Valera dared to smile after cracking the joke, and Ryan remembered the look on her face before they kissed the first time. The last time he'd felt this hopeful, Barack Obama was announcing his candidacy for President.

"Well, I don't know if it's really on Shakepeare's level. I mean, I'm pretty sure you're not a girl, disguised as a boy, disguised as a girl. You aren't right?" Ryan asked, and Valera giggled while shaking her head no.

"But I think you're right. There's definitely some misunderstanding here that should probably be cleared up." He continued.

Valera's smile widened even further, and Ryan wondered if he could do or say what was necessary to dispel any of her remaining doubt. What would Obama do? He'd say…Yes we can! Yes we can! Yes we can!

"Um…I was thinking, it's really late, and we should probably get off the streets. But maybe we could discuss further how to overcome this misunderstanding. Maybe, over dinner? Cause I can't speak for you Max, but I'll be interested on Monday."

Ryan had no time to react as Valera's body crashed into his. In seconds her hands were in his hair and her mouth was fused to his. Valera was kissing him for all she was worth, and he hadn't even gotten the chance to close his eyes yet. Once the initial surprise wore off, Ryan attempted to respond to the kiss, but Valera was already pulling away.

"I'd love to have dinner!" she cried, flashing him bright eyes, and white teeth with a smile that took up her whole face. "When?"

Valera looked up at Ryan expectantly, and awaited his answer. She laughed a little when she realized she was probably not going to get it anytime soon. Ryan was currently staring at her, open mouthed with his hair all askew. The only reply he'd made to her question was a noise she'd heard her sister's kids make when their pacifiers were taken away. Valera decided she'd have to take the initiative herself.

"How about the next day we both have off? But that could be eons away. How about the next evening we both have off? No, no that's probably just as unlikely. I know! How about the next time we can both leave work for a couple of hours without being missed too badly?" Valera was impressed by her logic at this late hour, and after so much champagne.

She continued to stare at Ryan, looking for an answer and hoping he'd collected himself by now.

"Kay." Ryan was still a little overcome. He'd done the hard part, and asked the girl out. Now he felt the way someone did after successfully completing a death defying act of bravery; elated, but also tired and speechless.

"Can we start walking again now?" Valera asked hopping from foot to foot. "These heels are killing my feet."

"Oh, yeah, sorry. Let's get out here." Ryan offered Valera his arm to lean on.

"Thanks." Valera sincerely appreciated his display of chivalry.

They made their way to the corner, and turned right onto the residential street that led to Valera's neighbourhood. Neither said much during the short walk to Valera's home, relying instead on indulgent smiles, and short kisses to say everything. Eventually Valera came to a stop in front of a white, Spanish style bungalow. There was a Toyota Prius parked in the drive way, and a fence running along the side and back of the property. Ryan could hear the tell tale gurgle of pool coming from the back garden.

"Nice place." Ryan said, pausing in the drive way to look at the house. "I was expecting an apartment building, or condo."

He wondered briefly if he shouldn't request lab rat detail, as it clearly paid better than being a CSI.

"It would probably have been the former if it wasn't for George," Valera said, pulling him by the arm up the drive way. "We've been living together since grad school. She has her own business now. So, I pay my portion of the mortgage, but all the extras are George."

"Wow! Does she need another best friend?" Ryan asked jokingly.

"Well you never know. She is pretty social." Valera replied laughingly, as they reached the front door.

Valera was about to fit her key into the door when she paused, and turned to Ryan.

"I'm not saying you do, but if you do want to kiss me good night, now might be the best time, as I can guarantee George is still awake and waiting for my call."

"Oh, right, okay." Ryan answered a little bewildered by her statement.

"You're welcome to come in first," Valera answered to clear up his confusion. "But, I'm pretty sure we'll have an audience."

"I see. Well, in that case…" Ryan made a lunge for her as soon as the words left his mouth.

Valera's back slammed against her front door as Ryan kissed her hard and thoroughly.

"Jesus, I'm sorry did I hurt you?" Ryan asked trying to pull away.

"No! no, never mind." Valera replied reaching for him, and finding herself pressed against the door again before Ryan's mouth found hers.

xxXxx

Inside Valera's quaint little home a young woman was drifting off on the couch. Georgiana Bowering was somewhere between sleep and consciousness when she heard a thump from the front door. George's eyes flew open. The first thing she noticed was that the television was still on, and the last thing she could remember watching was Saturday Night Live. George only tolerated the show for Andy Samberg, but she'd gotten her Samberg fix hours ago, and it was clearly either very late at night, or very early in the morning. Her next thought was of Maxine. George scrabbled for her cell phone on the coffee table and checked it. No calls were displayed, missed or otherwise. Again, a thump came from the front door. Could it be Max? Why would it be Max, she had a key. Perhaps she'd lost her key. Maybe she was too drunk to operate her key. But why would she have left the club without calling? What if she'd been attacked and was now only able to thump against the door with the last of the life in her body? What if Max was still at the club, and some deranged madman was now trying to break into their home? George jumped as the noises against the door went from thumping to scratching.

George debated calling 911. What could she tell them? Someone's knocking at my door, albeit in a muffled and slightly menacing manner. Her parents had warned her of this sort of thing when she'd declared her intentions to settle in America. They had taken the typically British stance that every major American city was riddled with crime and rude people rushing about with no time to help their fellow man. "Everyone carries a gun. Ridiculous!" had been her father's statement, and George had bit her tongue to keep from mentioning the large number of rifles he kept in their country home, and used regularly to harass birds and foxes. Still, Max's job had taught her how dangerous life can be, and truth be told, spooked her a little. George crept towards the door and listened. There was definitely someone on the other side of that door, and they were not using any of the traditional methods such as knocking, doorbell or key to get inside. She began to panic slightly, at least, as much as a traditional British aristocratic upbringing would allow her to.

George slinked back towards the front window and opened it quietly. If she could get her head out she could look at the front door, hopefully undetected. George slowly leaned out the window, and wondered if ground floor windows were more of a security threat than anything else. She focused on the area around the front door, and cursed the small palm like trees that were on either side of the door. George knew they weren't actual palm trees as they were too short and round for that, but she'd never learned what they were. All she knew was they were in the way. Suddenly she heard movement, and saw two figures in the moonlight. One was definitely Maxine, the other was a man. And from the looks of it they were engaged in some sort of struggle! The man was pulling on Maxine's purse clearly trying to rob her, if not violate her! The fiend must have followed Maxine home and then grabbed her. Why did she try walking home? She knew George would pick her up, they'd arranged it and all.

George cursed silently and looked back over the living room. The only sort of weapon she had handy was a large, antique umbrella which sported a marble ball about the size of baseball on its handle. George ran to the stand beside the door, and grabbed the umbrella from it. She held it like a bat in one hand as she reached for the front door with the other. After one deep breath for bravery, and a silent Huzzah, George opened the door swinging.

xxXxx

"Come on Max, I need that!" Ryan was grabbing at his cell phone which Valera had just taken from his hands.

She was giggling and smiling at him impishly, her clothing and hair in disarray courtesy of their make out session against the door. She'd taken the cell phone from him when he'd tried to call a taxi.

"What's the matter Ryan? Scared to come in? I promise George won't ask too many questions." Valera was dangling the cell phone towards him, and pulling it back whenever he made a reach for it.

"Seriously Max, don't put me through this. I just spent the better part of a night being scrutinized by your other female friends. I've got no self esteem left." He joked making a lunge for her.

Valera squealed, and dumped the cell phone in her purse as Ryan caught her around the waist.

"Really?" She asked as he kissed her again. "You seemed sure enough of yourself when you were having your way with me against that door."

Ryan simply smiled against her mouth and attempted to get his hand in her purse. He didn't really care either way how he got home that night. Valera was just really sexy when she was riled up, and he was ecstatic that he was the cause of her silly mood.

"Uh, uh, uh." She tsked, moving away from him as she felt his hand in her purse. They were now standing a foot apart holding her bag between them like a tug of war.

Ryan was about to give in and call a cab from her house, roommate or no roommate when the front door opened and a small, red haired woman came flying at him with what appeared to be a large stick in her hand.

"Get back! I've called the police! Don't think I won't hurt you!" George knew she was lying, but only about the calling the police part.

Ryan moved into a defensive stance as Valera started to scream.

"George wait! Don't hit him!" Valera was trying to grab the umbrella from her friend.

"Don't hit him! Do you bloody well want to get mugged?" George asked. She paused but didn't lower the umbrella.

"No! No, George this is Ryan, my er, co-worker, he's a cop!" Valera slowly removed the umbrella from her friend's hands.

"A cop? Why is he trying to steal your purse then?" George pointed to Valera's bag which was now in Ryan's right hand. Valera had forgotten it in her haste to prevent his getting beaten.

"I'm not!" Ryan said dropping the purse, and raising his hands to ear level like a suspect.

"See he's not, it was just a game. I was teasing him. Why did you think he was robbing me?" Valera asked.

"What else am I supposed to think when I hear a strange thumping at my door at 4:30 in the morning, and then observe some strange man trying to liberate my best friend's purse from her, clearly against her will?" George asked while peering at Valera and Ryan.

As she stopped to catch her breathe George took a few seconds to observe the two people in front of her more closely. Both of them were in a state of disarray. Ryan's shirt was un-tucked and opened widely at the neck. Valera's hair was a mess, and one of her dress straps was hanging limply at her elbow. She was also wearing a tie around her neck that if George had to bet money on it she would guess belonged to Ryan's suit. The pieces slowly fell into place and George coloured at her mistake.

Ryan noticed the flush on her cheeks, and figured she had realized what had actually been going on outside her door. So this was George. Ryan noted a compact, yet curvy figure contained in silk pajamas. Her chin length hair was styled in a modern version of the finger wave. She reminded him of a cross between Kristen Scott Thomas and an old time movie star. She had the kind of face and poise that spoke of wealth and breeding. As he reached out a hand in introduction she arched an eye brow at him in manner even Calleigh and Alex would fail to duplicate. It was the kind of arch that came from blue blood.

"Ryan Wolfe," he stated. "Sorry about the misunderstanding, that seems to be happening to me a lot tonight. I was just walking Valera home."

"Indeed?" George accepted his hand and shook it firmly. "Georgiana Bowering."

Ryan suspected his assumptions about her background might be dead on based solely on the handshake and her name. Not to mention the cultured tones the greeting was delivered in. Where in the world had Valera found this woman?

"I, uh, should call a cab and get going." Ryan said retrieving his phone from Valera's bag and handing the purse back to her.

"Oh, don't leave on my account. I was ready for bed before all this excitement. Clearly, I should have just gone there, and waited for Maxine's call if it was coming. Pleasure to meet you Mr. Wolfe, and thank you for seeing Maxine home safely." George retreated into the porch, taking the umbrella with her.

"Just Ryan is fine," Ryan called to her back. "There's already someone who calls me Mr. Wolfe, and it's annoying enough when he does it."

Valera waited till the door shut behind her friend, and then turned back to Ryan.

"I am so sorry about that," Valera started.

"Don't worry about it," Ryan said taking her hands in his. "At least to you know she cares. I'll sleep better at night knowing you're well protected."

"That I am, that I am," Valera replied.

She looked over Ryan's shoulder and saw that the night sky had shifted to morning shades of pink and orange.

"You should probably call a cab. If there's any chance we get called in today, despite the fact it's supposed to be our day off, it'll be brutal enough as it is."

"It wouldn't be the first time," Ryan said, dialing the number to a reputable cab company.

Valera watched in silence as he made small talk with the dispatcher and gave them her address.

"They said it'd be about twenty minutes. Early morning in Miami after a Saturday night is obviously their peak time." Ryan said.

"I can imagine," Valera said. "I'll wait with you."

Valera sat on her porch in the early morning sun, and tugged gently on Ryan's hands to encourage him to do the same. They sat, enjoying the morning and each other's company until a cab pulled up in front of the house. The driver honked twice, and while Ryan was reluctant to go, he could only imagine how busy the poor guy behind the wheel must be. Valera walked him to the cab, and he pulled her close for one last kiss.

Valera darted her head to one side before Ryan could complete his mission. "So I'll see you on Monday?" She asked. "And you'll still be interested?"

"Very interested," was his reply, followed by a lingering kiss.

"You want a ride or not Romeo?" The cabby was clearly not interested or impressed.

Ryan rolled his eyes at Valera and got into the cab. She waited until the car turned off her street to walk back towards the house. George had left the door unlocked alleviating the need for her key, and Valera gently locked it again behind her. She paused by the door and had a moment of private ecstasy when she took of her shoes. They were beautiful, but deceiving. Nothing that exquisite should cause so much pain, but they did, and she was happy to be free of them. The pain caused by beautiful heels was probably a lot like giving birth Valera thought, women forget about it until the next time. She padded silently through the house until she reached George's bedroom door. Valera knocked softly and waited for her friend's quiet "Come in", before entering.

George was lying in her ornate four poster bed, her petite form swamped by miles of what Valera knew to be very expensive linens.

"Did I ruin everything?" George asked forlornly.

"Why would you think there was anything to ruin," Valera asked cheekily.

George sat up amongst her pillows, which Valera often referred to as "enough for an army".

"Well obviously you were snogging him. And he is quite dishy, if colour blind. And has a real job, and is probably not "dangerous" in a bad way. I'd really hate to have bungled your chances with such a man." George replied, straightening out her blankets.

"First of all, he isn't colour blind. Not that I know of anyway," Valera said climbing into the bed, and settling against her friend. "And he can be dangerous when he wants to be, he is a cop."

George arched her eyebrow again, and fingered the tie around Valera's neck. "Max, darling, this tie is electric blue, and I believe those are orange stripes. If the man isn't colour blind then he has a very amusing wardrobe department working for him."

Valera's response was to stick out her tongue. "I somehow doubt Ryan has a wardrobe department hiding in his one bedroom apartment."

"Well he can have as many ugly ties as he likes as long as he has gainful employment and has never been in jail." George said.

Valera rolled her eyes. George had never gotten over the disaster that was Nick Townsend. Truth be told, she hadn't been impressed by many of Valera's boyfriends.

"No George, he's never been in jail. And he's not just a cop, he's a CSI, and duh, duh, da, dum, he's got Masters in Genetics!" Valera replied, drum roll and all.

"Good Lord! Is he still here? You didn't let him leave did you? What does he want in return for possibly being you're first non- ne'er do well boyfriend? My first born is up for grabs if needed." George joked.

"Very funny," Valera said, cuddling further into the bed. "Can I stay?"

"Only if you bathe first, you smell like champagne, dancing and a good time. I'll be far too jealous to sleep." George said pushing Valera out of the bed.

"Fine, I want to eat something and brush my teeth anyway." Valera said stomping off in the direction of the kitchen.

Valera made herself a quick breakfast of muesli and yogurt and then went into her bathroom. A bathroom all her own was one of the luxuries she silently thanked George for everyday. Valera started the shower and began to undress. She caught sight of herself in the mirror and paused for a moment. The woman staring back at Valera reminded her of herself, but happier. The woman's hair was a mess and her complexion was flushed from champagne and romance. Valera pulled off Ryan's tie and smiled at it. She looked back at herself in the mirror, and buried her nose in the scrap of fabric while inhaling deeply. She wasn't being a silly girl, but a dedicated scientist. Valera had read the latest research on genetic compatibility in couples and tried to ascertain her reaction to Ryan's scent. She inhaled deeply three more times and tried not let thinking interrupt her reaction. The fluttering in her stomach, and the giddiness she felt, led her to hypothesize two things; she and Ryan probably did not share too many common genetic markers, and they would have great chemistry. Valera stepped into her shower, and sang happily to herself while wishing Sunday away quickly.

_Hey baby won't you take a chance?  
Say that you'll let me have this dance?  
Well let's dance; let's dance._

_Hey baby if you're all alone, baby you'll let me walk you home.  
Let's dance.  
Hey baby yeah you swing it right, yes I know that tonight's the night._

_Let's dance._

The End.

_Thank you to everyone who read and reviewed, you guys rock as hard as The Ramones!_


End file.
